Sunday, July 13, 2008

Entry #25

It All Is Over
by Lena


7 am. She wakes up, takes a shower, has breakfast, leaves for the office.

7:50 am. She will be stuck in traffic and late for work again. But who cares. Well, the boss does. But then again... who cares.

She is tired. Only God knows how tired she is. But soon it will be over.

9.20 am. Office. Mails, calls, annoyance, indignation, anger, fights, tears.
And only one thought warms her up “Soon it all will be over.”

Colleagues. Customers. Managers.
Tired, sleepy, angry.
Looking at the clock. The time does not run as usual but crawls instead. And the only escape is the thought “Soon it all will be over.”

She smiles. She knows tomorrow she will be free.

6.00 pm. It is over. She smiles hesitantly at her colleagues, lies how much she will miss them and finally leaves the office.

Lost in her thoughts she does not notice that car. She cannot see how the car driver trying to avoid collision loses control and gets into the bus’ way. She even does not feel how the bus throws her up. She only thinks “Soon it all will be over.”

Just not the way she expected it to be. With no happiness about well deserved vacation, with no excitement about going to new places, with no riding with him on a brand new bike bought specially for this long planned trip.

With nothing but the peace and the realization of the fact that now it all is over.

19 comments:

wrath999 said...

Wow, this proves one must live for the here and now.

'Just not the way she expected it to be. With no happiness about'
This line says it all

great read alex

Sheri said...

OMG, that is so sad. It is like that Alanis Morisette's song, Ironic. At first when I read it I thought she was saying soon it would all be over because she was going to commit suicide. I don't knwo why I thought that though. I like the short one-word sentences very much!

Sarah Hina said...

It sounds like she was half dead already. And yet how terrible that she didn't enjoy that opportunity to make things new.

I really felt the mind-numbing drudgery of her day, and the alienation from her colleagues. And the Soon it all will be over. repetitions offered a wrenching twist at the end.

Nicely done.

Charles Gramlich said...

Definitely makes you want to enjoy the here and now.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Beautiful but sad piece dear.

Well written! :)

Wannabe Writer said...

I, too, thought she was thinking of suicide. It surprised me at the end when she was talking about vacation. Then you twist it and she is killed before she can enjoy herself. Well done! -Rita

BernardL said...

A sad tale.

Beth said...

I wrote something like this two contests ago, so I really like it! =)

Yours starts our erratic and ends with peace though. I like that.

the walking man said...

"7:50 am. She will be stuck in traffic and late for work again. But who cares. Well, the boss does. But then again... who cares."

A wonderful line, it is the one that details the rest of the piece, the clue to this womans frame of mind.

The premise is great, the twist at the end is not expected...but I think if you had a chance to edit this, tighten the prose up some it would be fully awesome.

Scott said...

Gosh, this sounds like a mercy kill. How depressing. As in, you told it so well.

SzélsőFa said...

Her resignation of the inevitable makes this very sad. I feel sorry for her, and her feelings are so vividly described that this piece should not be read when one's depressed. Ouch.

JaneyV said...

Man this makes me all the more determined never to lose myself in a dead -end job.

The dismal greyness of her life was truly painful and very well wrought. A very evocative and thought-provoking piece. Sad and actually quite terrifying but very nicely told.

September said...

As I read, I figured she was retiring and it was her last day at work. ( I didn't think suicide, becuase if it was planned, why go through the day at all.)

But that ending....ouch. That was awful. (not the writing, the story)

Poor woman. All those horrible days to end like this. But, then again,....it is over.

Great story writing. Glad I love my job. (I write for a living, my favorite thing to do)

klgilbert said...

I think you may have struck a chord with many people who are fed up with things. But..you show, very well, that the alternative CAN BE bleak!!! Good story.

laughingwolf said...

well told tale, thank you....

angel said...

best laid plans and all that...

JR's Thumbprints said...

I like your statement, "Soon it all will be over," instead of "Soon it will be all over." It makes the reader slow down a bit, take in the scenery, get into the character, and then like the movie "Million Dollar Baby," we get thrown in a different direction. Because I'm one of those "hurry up and read it" readers, I predicted the outcome.

jason evans said...

That's rough. Maybe she wished a little too hard. You made the timeline reflect how tedious it was with few words.

Aine said...

I hope she found peace.

But somehow, I bet she didn't. She wasn't very good at finding the good in little moments during her life...

A good reminder that it is up to us to truly live in each moment rather than wait for that ever elusive happiness.