Monday, July 14, 2008

Entry #30

Heading for Los Banos
by Michael A. Kechula


“Senor,” said the bartender. “If you must go to Los Banos tonight, do not take the highway."

“Why?”

“It is possessed by demons.”

Scoffing, Harry ordered another tequila. “The only other way to Los Banos is a primitive, desert road. It’s fifty miles longer. They say it’s full of bandits. I don’t want my motorcycle robbed, nor do I want to get my ass shot off.”

“Please finish your drink. I am closing early.”

“I thought cantinas stayed open all night?”

“Not in this part of Mexico--especially when the moon is full. Please, Senor, for your mother’s sake, do not take the highway tonight. Go tomorrow after the sun rises and the demons are sleeping.”

Snickering, Harry left a tip, and headed for the highway.

What a terrific night for riding. The air was calm, clear, crisp. The only sound was the purring of his new, customized Harley Davidson.

He tuned in Mexican party music. The tequila, cruising on his Harley, and the music made him joyous. The thought of meeting Teresa in Los Banos increased his exuberance. Soon they’d ride to the farthest regions of the heavens on a mattress.

Suddenly, lightening flashed across the road. Then an earthquake struck. Boulders rolled across the road. Harry lost control of the bike. His body tumbled down the road, stopping inches from a fissure.

The last things he remembered were the horrible stench, searing flames, and a voice saying, “You should have taken the other road, Harry.”

20 comments:

BernardL said...

I like this rather unique take on the picture. Nicely done. :)

HavasuSharon said...

Loved your descriptions, especially the paragraph beginning with 'He tuned in the Mexican music.' Poor Harry, if he'd only listened to someone in the know. Thanks for an eerie read.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

I was hoping it would not be so,but then sometimes the demons do take over life.

Good narration!

wrath999 said...

great visuals

alex

Charles Gramlich said...

Take the road less traveled. By demons.

J.C. Montgomery said...

Great story. Definitely lends itself to being developed more. Hope you consider it.

Beth said...

Unique, most definitely, and Charles' comment was spot on!

Lena said...

interesting take on things :)
loved the narration!

Wannabe Writer said...

Great story. As always, I love your stories and this one is reminiscent of Dusk til Dawn. Harry should have listened to the barkeeper. -Rita

Sarah Hina said...

Very original and compelling take. We should always listen to the bartender...

I like that you showed his pure elation before disaster struck. And the last line was a doozy. Well done!

Scott said...

Sounds like the bartender knew just what he was talking about!

JaneyV said...

Ah the arrogance of a man desperate to get laid! I enjoyed this very much and found the ending very satisfying. Nice story and well written.

September said...

To quote Speedy Gonzalez: "aiii aiii aiiii."

Very visual story, good job. and those demons ...they are strong.

angel said...

very VERY cool!

Aerin said...

Obviously, the story is a good one, but here's what I really like: the dialogue. It seemed very natural, it flowed really well. The entire piece has excellent pacing - not too slow, but neither rushed. Really well written.

Linda said...

Fast flash tale with a great last line. The pacing and dialogue were perfect. I enjoyed it.

Posolxstvo I said...

I imagine we'd have many fewer of these types of stories if human beings ever started believing the warnings they are given...

laughingwolf said...

lesson learned, if a tad late....

jason evans said...

Tequila makes me joyous too! I got a good feel for the cantina. And the night he walked out into. Good pacing.

Aine said...

Bartenders are usually very wise-- they are good listeners....

Too bad Harry wasn't.

Very entertaining!