Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Entry #44

Robin’s Flight
by Wavemancali


Robin opened the window and threw down her bag. She didn't worry about the contents, learning long ago to own nothing breakable in this house.

She deftly climbed to the ground flitting from branch to branch like the bird that was her namesake. Picking up her pack she slipped into the shadows of the tree listening as the crashing and screams washed through the open window.

Cold and trembling in the night she heard a throaty growl and allowed herself at last to hope. Fredo’s motorcycle slipped into view at the top of the dead end street. She willed him to come faster so that they could be gone before the neighbors inevitably called the cops.

Wordlessly he handed her a spare helmet and she climbed up. She clasped her arms around his waist not wanting to let go of this treasure that she valued more than gold, more than life itself.

The warmth from his back spreading through her breast washed away the cares of the world. She leaned deeply into him and whispered, “Fly Fredo. Take me away from this place. I’m never coming back.”

The headlights of the bike washed the road before them in a glow of hope while falling darkness engulfed the hell behind. Robin cried for her mother who would not escape, but she now had to think about the new life within her.

Driving through the night into a new sunrise, Robin knew at last that she was free.

18 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

I like how she flees from a *dead end street*, that was clever.

wrath999 said...

'The headlights of the bike washed the road before them in a glow of hope while falling darkness engulfed the hell behind'

Great line here. Says it all.

Very well done
alex

BernardL said...

Solidly written tale.

Sarah Hina said...

Ah, that was beautifully told. We haven't had enough teen tales, which are so fitting for a motorcycle's promise of escape.

A lot of your lines and details really shone. I think my favorites were about "owning nothing breakable in this house" and the "warmth from his back spreading through her breast."

Wonderfully written story.

J.C. Montgomery said...

Love the image you created of leaving a "dead end" for new hope and promise. Beautifully done.

Beth said...

I shouldn't read Sarah's comments first because I want to say ditto, but I can't help it ... exactly what she said!

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That's something no one came up with till now!

Beautiful narration of a victim of a broken home.I wonder what happened to her poor mother...

Very well written.

JaneyV said...

Sarah's comment has voiced everything i wanted to say. I love the completeness of this piece and the hopeful ending.

The headlights of the bike washed the road before them in a glow of hope while falling darkness engulfed the hell behind.

Beautiful writing.

JR's Thumbprints said...

ahh yes ... her knight in shining armor.

Wannabe Writer said...

Well written. Very sweet and sad... But there is hope even in the worst of situations. -Rita

September said...

Very nice. I enjoyed this a lot. Nicely written.

"Robin cried for her mother who would not escape, but she now had to think about the new life within her."

Powerful. I think I would have ended it there. Wow. Is she pregnant?

Well done.

Sheri said...

Very nice.

Lena said...

awww.. this one so sweet and very beautifully told. Some sentences are really gems!!

Scott said...

I'm a sucker for this kind of story. I'm reminded of the scene in an eighties movie (I'll have to look it up) where a boy rides his motorcycle into school and picks up Daryl Hannah to end the movie. What can I say, I loved it! This was beautifully written. You caught the mood and made me believe.

k.l. gilbert said...

I must say I thought this was one of the most adroitly written pieces.

"She deftly climbed to the ground flitting from branch to branch like the bird that was her namesake."

Lines like this, and others, gave it such validity. You write so poetically. Many good solid images.

Missy said...

Beautiful imagery in your writing. Thanks for a great beginning/ending tale!

laughingwolf said...

crap... google ate my post here, too grrr

nicely wrought!

jason evans said...

I especially liked the physical contact between them. I can feel the fire of her hope. Good storytelling.