Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Entry #104

Then the Piper Will Lead Us to Reason
by Jimmie Vee


I was meandering about midtown when I came upon a curious scene on the plaza at 53rd and 3rd. A sandwich sign there advertised in bold chalk,

Stairway to Heaven
Today Only
$1

A bulldozer - watching the spectacle unfurl - sat off to one side idling at the ready. A crowd was gathered around an escalator on the sidewalk, the peak just visible from street level. Prompted by a fat man in an ominous red coat and beard, hundreds of people were offering their money and climbing up the unmoving stairs, each claiming a vacant step in turn. Once completely full, the fat man slung a velvet theatre rope across the first tread and released a lever that set the escalator in motion.

Upwards the people went in a steady stream, grinning with delight at one another. After about two seconds the first one fell onto the cement at the center of the plaza from above with a scream and a resounding thud. And then fell the next. As the escalator continued to rise they continued to fall in rhythm, each one arriving no less noisily on the growing heap below until the last landed and then the escalator was empty once again. The crowd stood transfixed as the bulldozer roared to life and began pushing the accumulated pile off to one side.

The fat man unchained the velvet rope once more, smiling devilishly. The waiting line already had reached around the corner. I put my dollar away.

25 comments:

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

That was eerie!Great imagination :)

Ello said...

Awesome! Loved this one!

JR's Thumbprints said...

There's a sucker born every minute. That is, except for your narrator.

wrath999 said...

Excellent. Vivid imagination.

Selma said...

I really enjoyed your sense of humour in this piece. The splats on the ground proved it really was a stairway to heaven. Brilliant!

laughingwolf said...

silly boy, spend a buck! :O lol

Lena said...

Thats some imagination here. Really enjoyed reading :)

Vic said...

It reminds me of the way Lemmings go on the computer games - each one following the one in front to their death.

BernardL said...

Yeah, put that dollar away. The lemmings angle is very good. :)

L'uragano (The Hurricane) said...

very tight clever piece.

Karen said...

Love the unexpectedness of this.

Scott said...

Thank goodness the narrator didn't go first! Excellent take on the theme.

strugglingwriter said...

Cool entry. I like this story a lot.

Nice Zeppelin reference in the title.

Paul (entry #26)

Anonymous said...

wait wait wait, was the fat man santa claus or Jerry Garcia? I'm so confused.

one more believer said...

comical unique yet so sad... loved the bulldozer standing idle... dang, a dollar for a cheap pony ride...

Aine said...

Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode. Very creative despite the gore!

Catvibe said...

Wonderfully bizarre!

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, this one was mind-bending. What a striking take on spectacle and man's mindless curiosity and gullibility. Ask questions later, I guess.

Stunning job, Jimmie. The image of those people falling and the bulldozer pushing them aside will stick with me for awhile. Just superb.

RiverSoul said...

Loved this one, jimmie
:)
You've got some imagination!
Resounding thud.
Loved that!
:D

bluesugarpoet said...

Dark! And Delightfully horrible, Jimmie (I mean what transpired in your story and not your writing). I loved this story!

jana

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

Thanks! Jimmie. Good pen.

Jimmie Vee said...

A quick note to all of you who have taken the time to read through and provide written comments here - thanks for your input - good or bad it's always appreciated. This has been a much more interesting, thought provoking exercise than I ever expected it to be. One photograph - 125 wildly varying interpretations - kinda cool when you think about it.

Jim Valenti

September said...

wow...this was so interesting.
sounds like she put her dollar away just in time. did she not get on? great story. nicely written.

Terry said...

Jimmie, this is not a story that I should be reading just before bedtime! There are many lessons here including you get what you pay for and watch out for fat men in red suits! I loved how you animated the bulldozer. Your last line was perfect. Great job!

jason evans said...

Great job with pacing, entertainment value, storytelling, and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!