Untitled
by Mandar S
25yrs. Without riding escalotor!
25yrs.
Hold on, let first tell you about the situation:
Name: Maddy
Gender: Male
Age: 25
Height: 5’2
Additional features: locomotion disability; can’t walk without leg braces and crutches in my shoulders. If this isn’t makes it hard, I’ve got escalaphobia: fear of climbing an escalators.
Today, me and my conscious decided to end this. Kathy was waiting at other end.
A 6yr old kid was enjoying the ride.
“Look it can’t be that hard, look at that KID” a voice inside my head (must be my conscious)
I went closer to escalator.
Steps were raising form ground. My hearth began pounding.
“This’ll good time to try ‘changing mental “constructs” and think positively’ method of your shrink ” my conscious. Loud and clear.
Took long breath. Lifted my crutches and put them on rising step. It was going up at steady pace.
“Have to act quickly” my conscious. Firmly.
I squeezed my eyes and leaned on my shoulders, lifted my legs, when put them down: a base was felt.
Small relief.
I slowly opened eyes.
Panic griped me.
Ground started to look far away.
Escalator’s steady pace, felt very slow. Few second passed.
“POSITIVE THINKING”
I was sweating, holding tightly on crutches.
“POSITIVE THINKING” voice grew louder inside my head.
End was near.
Hearth was drumming. I was wet.
“POSITIVE THINKING, just couple of steps..” a tired voice.
Final step: I jumped off the escalator on to top floor.
I looked at Kathy, she was smiling.
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14 comments:
courage comes in many ways...
YAY. Glad he made it!!!
I cheered too.
Nice use of staggered language - you could feel, see, smell the hesitation through the way you wrote.
Good job.
glad she did it. Liked the way you showed her doubts, worries and hesitation as well as her encouraging herself!! Well expressed!
I could feel the anxiety,the tension!Well done :)
I liked the format. A feel good story! Great job.
Good reminder that what some take for granted can be a real challenge for others.
Mandar S: thank a lot guys. really appreciate your comments.
Patsy,K.Lawson Gilbert,Lena,September,Selma, laughingwolf all of you!
it means a lot to me since i am just beginner. i write what comes to my hearth.
PASTY, SAMEERA Lauggingwolf,September you guys hit the core values i wanted story to showcase.
it feels AWESOME when emotion gets conveyed. :) thank a lot!
Mandar, I loved your story. The courage to aspire and beat his fear was very well expressed. I can see that English is not your first language, but despite that, you have done an excellent job of expressing the universal desire to conquer fear despite our worst limitations. Great job.
To Catvibe: thanks. yes, your right about English not being my first language.
i admit i had made some mistakes but i realized them only when story was published.
i assure readers that these kinds of mistake will not happen again.
again thanks for your comment.
Conquering fear is never a small feat. I'm glad Maddy seized his chance and made it to the top.
Don't worry about the small mistakes, Mandar. We knew what you meant. And congratulations on writing an uplifting, inspired story! It made me smile with Kathy. :)
its u who decide what u cud do and wut u cant! well written!
Way to go!
Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!
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