Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Entry #117

When You Stand on an Escalator and Don't Let People Pass
by Kevin Robinson


“I swear to God, I’m going to punch these people in the back of the head!” she whispered to herself. It wasn’t really their fault. They could no more move than she could. This was the problem with escalators. Too many of those escalating, feel entitled to just stand and let the machine do all the goddamn work.

“MOVE DUMB ASSES!!” She screamed in her thoughts. The sheep in front of her, passively ascending, paid her no mind. “Why do we tolerate this?” she asked herself. “We could all be climbing to endless slaughter here and I doubt these fools would bat a fucking eyelash.”

She shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot and struggled to resist the urge to shove the people in front of her. This close to her breaking point, but she was finally nearing the top of the escalator. She could see people just a few steps in front of her stepping off. Then the people directly in front of her stepped off. Finally, it was her turn. She leapt off the escalator, racing towards the mall bathroom.

16 comments:

laughingwolf said...

lol ...i'd be impatient, too ;)

Danielle Robinson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
danny said...

nice job!

September said...

I love it! I was thinking, "what could be so important that she is so impatient" - but then that ending. LOL - been there!
Good job

Lena said...

lol really good job! and the last sentence has it all.. good humour here too.

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

When nature calls,one's gotta rush!Good one :)

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

I thought it was going to be that she needed a cup of coffee - I guess that was earlier! ;)

kevinrobinson said...

Thanks for the kind words everyone.

BernardL said...

You conveyed the sense of urgency very well. :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Why is it when you really really have to go, people seem to get in the way?

Catvibe said...

The ending redeemed her impatience. In certain other countries, people are much better about staying to one side so walkers can walk while standers stand to the right. She had every right to be mad, it is a little inconsiderate actually, to hog the escalator. Great writing!

RiverSoul said...

Loved the unexpected end.
:D
The clinch reminds me of o'henry
:)
Gr8 work
:)

Sarah Hina said...

I am never in so bad a mood as when I'm in an overcrowded mall...and have to use the bathroom. ;) So I really enjoyed this funny take, Kevin.

I loved all her rage simmering beneath her surface here. Nicely conveyed. I really hope she made it. :)

sawan said...

omg, m still laughing :P wonderful read. luvd it :)

bluesugarpoet said...

Ah, the impatience totally makes sense. Any girl who has taken a long car ride knows that sense of urgency. Funny story!

jana

jason evans said...

Great job with entertainment value and voice!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!