Thursday, January 08, 2009

Entry #20

Stalker
by Sandra Seamans


Mall gawking, that's what I'm doing. I'm sitting on one of those God-awful mall benches, a pee-inducing fountain splashing behind me, with every fiber of my being focused on the girl walking towards me. She is everything I've ever longed for, youth, beauty and style in one perfectly designed package.

My sensible self turns to Jell-O as she steps on the escalator, her movement taunting me with a tantalizing glimpse of black leather straps wrapped around seductive pink curves. I imagine a splash of blood red painted across her pristine toenails and I'm swept away in a pulsating need I can't fight.

I chase after her, a deep-seated lust driving me forward, desperately afraid I'll lose sight of the silky blond hair swaying around the gentle swell of her hips. Sweat drenches my brow, my breathing reduced to ragged gulps, as I finally catch up with her lithe figure near the entrance to the parking garage. My hand, lost to insane desire, grabs her arm.

Before she can scream for help, I plead for release from the obsession that has tipped me over the edge of reason. "Excuse me, dear, could you please tell me where you found those delicious shoes?"

27 comments:

Lena said...

aww... that was a nice twist in the end.. i wondered if it was about shoes but then still got me surprised :)

wrath999 said...

Very well done. I enjoy a tale with a twist

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

I was wondering if it was about shoes and it was!Nice one :)

Ruinwen said...

I loved this from beginning to end. The last line was a fabulous delight! :)

Leatherdykeuk said...

Delightful ending :)

Sarah Hina said...

You did a great job of describing the visceral need, Sandra. It's disturbing and desperate and sexy, all at the same time.

Nice recovery at the end. :) That fight for control won out in the end. But probably not entirely happily.

Geraldine said...

LOL...great ending!

laughingwolf said...

good one, sandra :D

Victor Bravo Monchego, Jr said...

pee-inducing fountain, splashing ...great phrase.

peggy said...

the shoes?! Ha, ya had me going. Good job, fun read!

Aerin said...

LOL

lissa said...

love the ending!

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

Sandra - you always come up with a great story - this is no exception...delightful ending.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Your character's shoe fetish may have driven her over the edge, or perhaps she's always that way about fashion.

JaneyV said...

Terrific finish. I really thought we were in for some creeper slashfest. I have seen this lust for shoes in other women but I confess I don't get it myself. I look at heels and think of sore toes and an aching back.

I thoroughly enjoyed this!

David Cranmer said...

It's a good thing I didn't read "Stalker" before entering mine... or I wouldn't have.

Well done!

Scott Parker said...

Fantastic ending. I even told my wife about it. I love the breathless quality to it even as my brain stubbornly tried to tell me all was not what it seemed.

Jacob Weaver said...

Ha, I loved the ending. I couldn't figure out the narrator's gender on the first read. I'm assuming male but when I read it from a female perspective it's funny how the overall tone of the story changed. I liked that ambiguity. Well done.

pattinase (abbott) said...

Brilliant as always.

Anonymous said...

Ha! Loved it! And you've written one of the funniest phrases [the fountain]I've read in ages.
John McAuley

BernardL said...

LOL! That was very well done.

sandra seamans said...

Thanks so much everyone!! This was such a fun contest. Thanks to Jason and Aine for hosting yet another wonderful writing experience.

Catvibe said...

Great finish!

bluesugarpoet said...

Nice twist at the end...and I'm so glad! Excellently built suspense to the very last phrase.

jana

Jimmie Vee said...

This was a good one because I wasn't entirely sure which way it was headed until it was too late - which kept me interested all the way through. I guess being a man I had no idea she was even wearing shoes.

Sharon Poppen said...

One of your best! Great phrases and a believable twist ending. Who could ask for more.

jason evans said...

Great job on entertainment value!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!