Thursday, January 08, 2009

Entry #25

Bottom
by Stephen L. Slatter


Dear God, I’m sorry, but leaving the Red Line at Wheaton, there’s a guy’s rear plumb in front of me I’m gonna have to fondle. Make him turn round, surprised eyes looking dirty down at me. Read him thinking: Jesus, what’s a hot chick like you doing squeezing men’s asses on subway escalators?

Then he’ll laugh, understanding I’m not in the habit. It’s a one-off just for him being so – special. He’ll drink me in for a moment and then turn back to face the exit. There ain’t no hurry: we’re both going all the way. He’s got plenty of time yet to polish whatever line he’s going to shoot me, though my answer’s already a yes. We both know that.

He’s totally dominating my view now. So close, I’m gonna be forced to glide my fingers down his right thigh and back up the left, stopping just below the most important place. Make him wonder: she actually gonna touch it, or not? Tease him wild.

Deep breath. Should I do it? After all, we’re gonna do way more than just touching later. But I decide to wait: there’s still miles of up escalator left. You ever get off at Wheaton, Lord? You’ll know what I mean. It just goes on forever.

In fact, as you read this, I’ll still be here, ogling that backside, living my impossible dream, never getting any nearer the top of this ride, or farther from the bottom.

Just like in life, Lord. Just like.

18 comments:

Sameera Ansari said...

That was naughty.Nice depiction of a college crush longing.

K.Lawson Gilbert said...

I enjoyed this - good read. Literary quality.

Jaye Wells said...

This one sang to me. Loved the voice and the humor here. Great job!

Sarah Hina said...

Oh, nice. :) You managed humor, heat, and even despair, all in one ride. Really enjoyed the voice here, too. Pretty ballsy to be quite so honest with God. ;)

Great take, Stephen! Really strong writing. The character leaped to life.

Anonymous said...

that was a great read! love it. sply the way u brought the charcter to life.

laughingwolf said...

lol@stephen well done :)

Lena said...

loved the humor here. really well done!

Ruinwen Dagorielle said...

I love the way you've evoked so many emotions with this piece. :)

Rachel Green said...

Love the perspective :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

I'm thinking about that Dear God song ... what if God were one of us ... but then again, we wouldn't be as emotionally honest as your main character, would we?

JaneyV said...

It is hard to ignore a fine butt that's right there in front of you. I love the internal dialogue a mixture of fantasy, prayer and daring herself to be brazen.

Very enjoyable read Stephen.

McKoala said...

Really strong voice and that's why I love it.

Catherine Vibert said...

Loved the lustful passion. Good read, nice pacing.

ceedy said...

I guess...one should take a chance sometimes in life and not fall back on "its life"

well written...

Anonymous said...

how deceptively divine... sometimes uncontrollable acts are easily engaged with little consequence... renee #45

bluesugarpoet said...

yes, so many emotions evoked in one little piece of writing. Longing, lust, regret, and - most of all - humor! Loved this one!

jana

Esther Avila said...

ohhh....lusty. What a ride.
nice writing

Anonymous said...

Great job on pacing and technical skill!

Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!