Entry #76

Weighing Options
by Elvira D’Souza


As I climb the stairs, anticipation has been building up inside me. I am indecisive whether this is the right move. I am in self doubt whether I should continue with the path I have taken up. It is asking too much from me.

Am not sure whether I am up for it. How can I be up for it, after the continuous failures I have faced? All my efforts have gone down the drains; all those wasted months now seem to gawk onto me.

The hot summer sun has been draining my spirits. Sweat seems to flow done my veins and I can feel my resolve melting away. I continue to contemplate whether I should climb the stairs or move towards the cool shades that beacon me onto their comfort. With tremendous efforts I continue my ascend upwards. I can feel the struggle all around me.

The door towards my goal has opened. As I enter I see the phone cradled in its arm rest. My hand moves towards it and I hesitate as I close the distance between us. Should I call or move away. Finally better sense prevails and I resolve that I will cook. Take away food I bid good-bye. Can’t let the calories lost with the walk up the stairs lose now. As I take my baby stairs towards my resolve of losing weight, each step seems a giant leap all over again.