Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Entry #120

In Vino Veritas, In Tequila Mors
by Cormac Brown


I am undone.

I am undone by a pair of lips.

By a kiss.

By a whisper.

I believe that Adam was just an allegory. Because if he were a real man, he’d say “all that from just a rib? Well, God, why don’t you take out the other one and even me out?”

I wanted it all, and at least in terms of money, I could afford it. Something about her was different…I still don’t know what it was. She wasn’t exceptionally beautiful or intelligent…or even charming. Yet she had enough of each of those qualities to keep me intrigued, just like my wife did when we first met in college.

It was a casual friendship that turned into something else before either of us knew what happened. We meshed together. I felt like a new man, and I expanded the horizons of her future. Our relationship took on a life of its own and soon discretion went out of the window as we traveled together.

Eventually, reality reared its ugly head and this “second honeymoon” was over. Things became too intense and I wanted out, and to buy her out. We drank; we fought…until we were exhausted. Finally, I asked her to leave the love nest we made…

…and I kissed her.

I whispered, “Goodbye.”

I thought she went to pack, but she went for a gun instead.

I am undone.

Now we won’t worry about fidelity…our future…or anything, because we’re going to sleep for all of eternity.


[Cormac writes: I’m Cormac Brown, an up-and-slumming writer in the city of Saint Francis. Some of my stories have appeared at Powder Burn Flash, Six Sentences, A Twist of Noir, Astonishing Adventures Magazine, and Crooked Magazine. You can find me at Cormac Writes.]

22 comments:

Laurel said...

Nice telling of the death of the relationship. I like the characterization of the beginning, too. The "new" person is always perfect because you don't know what about them drives you crazy in a bad way yet.

Classic.

laughingwolf said...

and she died from...?

JR's Thumbprints said...

Reminds me of that NFL quarterback who just died at the hands of his lover. Very timely story.

The Preacherman said...

Women! Can't live with 'em can't live without 'em eh?

Nice one old bean



Four Dinners

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

Riveting story - and very well told, loved the duality of it.

sandra seamans said...

Nicely done, Cormac! And for some reason that song "Breaking Up is Hard to Do" keeps running through my mind. :-)

Catvibe said...

A murder/suicide? Interesting questions.

Terri said...

Oh dear, it all went horribly wrong, didn't it? I like the way this piece comes full circle.

John Donald Carlucci said...

"Well, God, why don’t you take out the other one and even me out?”"

Nice as always Mr. C.

I vote for you

JDC

Aniket said...

They don't always live happily ever after do they? Sigh.

I am still a bit confused whether they both died or only he did... but I quite liked the piece overall.

Bubs said...

Holy shit!

"I thought she went to pack, but she went for a gun instead."

I loved this line. Perfect.

Cormac Brown said...

Laurel,

Thank you.

"The "new" person is always perfect because you don't know what about them drives you crazy in a bad way yet."

Absolutely.

Laughingwolf,

Scroll further down this comment and it might become a little clearer...

JR's Thumbprints,

"Reminds me of that NFL quarterback who just died at the hands of his lover. Very timely story."

(Points at own nose with one hand, while pointing at JR's Thumbprints with your other)

Preacherman,

Thanks and living with 'em is always easier, though by how much varies like the suggested mileage by the EPA.

Ab Vanilla,

Thank you, thank you and thank you.

Sandra,

Thank you and thanks for telling me about this. I had a great time between projects. Actually, instead of Neil Sedaka, this was written with Anberlin's The Feel Good Drag in mind.

Catvibe,

And still not enough answers, in either the piece or in actual life. I could tie up a few things more with a 300 word count.

Terri,

Thank you.

Johnny Dollars,

Thank you and don't vote for me, I don't have a snowball's chance.

Aniket,

No, they unfortunately they rarely do. It was a murder-suicide.

Bubs,

Thank you, sir.

r2 said...

Another good one, Cormac. I'm getting jealous.

pjd said...

I wonder if it would have turned out different if he'd left instead of asking her to leave.

quin browne said...

i think it was meant to end in death... and, as always, mr. brown(are we related??) shows how to do noir.

Paul Brazill said...

Classy, smooth and very dark.Like a pint of Guiness.

Tessa said...

Rich and tightly paced - fantastic piece and great take on the prompt.

JaneyV said...

This had a real film noir feel to it. I like the commentary - it felt Sam Spade-y.

Cormac Brown said...

Randy,

Thanks and you have nothing to be jealous about, I have a lot of catching up to get to your level.

PJD,

That's the part that bothers me in both the fictional and actual versions.

Quin,

I wonder and we are related, my side of the family tree dropped the "e" when we moved to California and ran over a pothole.

Paulie Decibels,

Well thank you, Sir, that's high praise.

Tessa,

Thanks.

Janey V,

Thank you, anyone would be happy to be mentioned with a Hammett character.

September said...

All good things must come to an end...and what an end! Goes to show you, you can't go back after taking that forbidden fruit.
This was exceptionally well written. The affair had a real personality - a child blooming and growing - until it finally got out of control and wham! There you have it.

jason evans said...

I bet those second honeymoons are doomed. But this is really doomed. I hope he finds rest.

High marks for pacing.

Jaye Wells said...

The voice here is wonderful. It's almost poetic and certainly tragic, but overall well done.