Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Entry #122

No More Lies
by Ken Furie


Charlie paced the kitchen in his plaid boxers. He could summon no magic words that would cushion what was sure to be a horrible jolt. “Luisa, my dear, I’m awfully sorry, but I’ve been banging the sweet daylights out of your sister for six months and I think I’m in love.” Right. Absolutely. That’s breaking it gently.

He peeked into the bedroom. Luisa slumbered on, still as a corpse, unaware of the oncoming bus about to demolish her world. He hated doing it, but he couldn’t keep going this way.

He filled a glass with the Oregon pinot they’d opened last night. Six a.m. wasn’t too early, right? He tossed his head back and newborn sunbeams crucified him as he drained the glass. The wine had a nice lingering tail, so he poured another glass.

Give me the strength to do this, he whispered to the wine.

Luisa appeared at last, thick and muzzy. She saw the bottle, looked him up and down. He expected a scold but she plucked a clean glass and held it out for him to fill.

Charlie poured. Luisa gulped the pinot and blurted, “Charlie, I have something to tell you and I can’t find the right words, so I’m just going to blurt it out. I’m in love with your father. We’ve been seeing each other secretly for over a year. Charlie, I’m so tired of pretending. I just can’t lie anymore. I’m sorry.”

He gawped, thunderstruck. “My father? You whore, how could you?”

25 comments:

Hoodie said...

I think people having been holding back their best for last. This is AWESOME.

The descriptions are flawless and the flow divine. Perfect ending.

Kudos.

Kimberly B. said...

Aha! I love the twist on this one! Packs quite a wallop in such a short space!

Laurel said...

Suh-WEET!

And I was slain by "newborn sunbeams crucified him as he drained the glass."

That might be my favorite series of words I have read so far.

Beth Harar said...

Ha! That is too funny. Nice job.

laughingwolf said...

ken, your tale lives up to your name! :)

JR's Thumbprints said...

Double standard be damned! Nicely woven tale.

wrath999 said...

Cool.

alex

The Preacherman said...

Love it!



Four Dinners

Mira said...

ROFL. Awesome Ken. Never saw it coming. Too funny.

Catvibe said...

Loved the newborn sunbeams. Loved the twist! Smirked that he would call HER a whore. So like a man...

Amanda J said...

Brilliant! I loved the twist.

Terri said...

Hypocrite!
That sunbeams line is going to go down in history, btw.

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...

Really enjoyed this story. It was a bloody good laugh. Nothing better than taking the wind out of another's sails. The hypocrisy is brilliantly shown.

Mona said...

Wow! Hypocrisy pictured at its best! :)

It is a kind of 'rat race' to betrayal!

Aimee Laine said...

Aw. Poor him. ;) Great job!

BernardL said...

A twist and a very funny reaction.

pjd said...

Brother? Nah. Cousin? Nah. Golf buddy? Nah. Milkman? Nah.

Father? Perfect.

Nothingman said...

You, this has great potential for a foursome.

I bet the wife's sister was fucking the father too. Old men have charm. :/

N

Aerin said...

LOL @ Nothingman's foursome.

I know everyone loved the sunbeams line, but I like the plaid boxers. And Luisa being muzzy. And "gawped." The word choices do everything to underline the feeling of the piece and strengthen the plot. First-rate.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Ah hahahahahahahahaha

Awesome!

Aniket said...

LOL.

The comments are almost just as good the story.

@ PJD: Golfbuddy? Milkman? It seems yYou have been reading/watching all the naughty stuff these days. :D :D

@ Nothingman: I don't think Jason would allow a story about that. :D :D

Sheer Awesomeness!

desiderata said...

Incestuous irony...I love it! aMore pls, YL, Desi

JaneyV said...

Terrific! And that "newborn sunbeams crucified him as he drained the glass" line was perfection.

September said...

Oh, what a great blow to him! And though both were unfaithful, somehow I sided with her. This was great work. Loved it.

jason evans said...

A dark subject done with a vein of humor. Compelling. And a great human (i.e., flawed) reaction.

Welcome to The Forties Club!