Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Entry #142

Finally Godess
by Ranee Kaur Banerjee


Brought fresh to your doorstep, I curdled at your cruelty.

Caged between the stove and the bed, I began to knot secrets in my poison-red, vermillion-streaked hair. I embroidered myself plots of intricate web-like mehendi. I boiled noxious, fuming thoughts.

I wanted to become Scheherazade and tell you 1001 tales to put you to sleep. Instead, I found Styx in a bottle.
-------------------------------------------------

That monsoon night, I stood outside under the Banyan’s gnarled roots looking at the temple on the horizon where yet another sun had been killed, pierced by the spire.

I stood until the moon, impaled on a twisted branch bled tortured light.

I stood until you came and took the bottle away.

---------------------------------------------------

“Don’t!” I cried. But you did.

I fell. I saw the shape of my lips in a blood-kiss on the cold marble floor. You grabbed my hair and made me kneel between your knees.

Drunk on the sun’s blood and the moon’s tears, I became Kali. My tongue hung red, thirsty, ready, dripping pinot noir.

As you pushed my face down, I bit hard and sucked and tasted your blood mingling with mine.

Then you were the one screaming “Don’t!”

20 comments:

JR's Thumbprints said...

Very animalistic. You have some vivid images here.

laughingwolf said...

too late, she already bit!

wrath999 said...

Wow, great job

alex

Christina said...

I love this line...

looking at the temple on the horizon where yet another sun had been killed, pierced by the spire.

Laurel said...

This is fantastic. The writing is beautiful but the story is savage.

Amazing.

Rohan said...

Whoa!!!
Job well done...what a take..

As the Mind Meanders said...

Ranee... this is brilliant...

Terri said...

Savage, indeed. This piece made me shiver.

Aerin said...

LAUREL - QUIT TAKING MY COMMENTS!

Okay, it's more like Laurel says things perfectly enough that I can't improve on them. So...ditto.

Nothingman said...

Bad deeds deserve punishment. In any kind. Anyway.

Great descriptions.

Rock on!

N

aditi said...

I myself am an Indian, also a Bong at that so I can really connect to the whole piece here - I am wow'ed by your amazing skill!

PEOPLE, PLACES, VOICES, FACES... said...

Thanks y'all, (I think!)--This was my first spontaneous foray into putting my stuff out there for it to be judged by other writers.

I'm glad I did, though, because I've thoroughly enjoyed reading so many of the stories and poems. I suddenly feel like I'm part of a community and not just a solitary blogger.

JR, Terri, Lauren, Aerin: I really hadn't planned on making it so "savage." The character took over (and that's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

Alex, Christina, Rohan, Aditi, Nothingman: Thanks for the appreciation.

Laughingwolf: She bit because he hit! I'm in awe of your story, BTW.

Blog Gore: Seems we have certain sensibilities in common.

Ranee

BernardL said...

Ouch!

desiderata said...

ranee: you targeted wellA on first hit! Welcome to the "club" that Jason fondly created, I truly enjoy myself every time wit' coN test drives:) YL

September said...

barbaric ending - you did a nice job in painting this picture. yikes! Good job.

September said...

barbaric ending - you did a nice job in painting this picture. yikes! Good job.

Aniket said...

Ditto to Aerin on Dittoing Laurel and making it sound like a mean job. :D

I like the take on Indian mythology here.

Reminded me of George Clooney shouting with rage in Michael Clayton "I'm Shiva, The god of Death" :)

JaneyV said...

I love the passion of this. I found your use of language sensuous and enthralling. A fine piece of writing.

jason evans said...

Brutal story. The violence grabbed me. I couldn't look away.

High marks for entertainment.

Jaye Wells said...

Your writing is so vivid. I really liked this piece and think it begs to be expanded. Excellent job.