Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Entry #155

A Lost Age
by Will Masters


Phillip sat, having finished his cleaning at the end of another day at the museum. He was out of breath, the physical exertions of the job getting too much for his frail form. Sighing, he looked around at the exhibits, alone with his thoughts and his daily desperation at the state of the world. Nothing here should be in a museum; they were all commonplace, everyday things. Or they had been, in his youth.

It had seemed that they were doing everything they could to curb global warming. The temperature was only going to rise by a four or five degrees, the scientists had said. They'd never said what a difference that would make.

England stopped being the country he'd grown up in, with its lush green hills and beautiful woodlands. The land changed irrevocably over just a few short years. The waters rose, flooding areas where people should have been better prepared for it. Plants began to flower in unusual seasons, animals stopped hibernating and living in their seasonal cycles, even the squirrels stopped burying their nuts in the ground. Many species didn't survive; the changes to their environment too fast for them to adapt.

Standing, Phillip rubbed his back to get the feeling back and the blood flowing. He took one last look at the exhibits. Cold, carefully controlled gases rose preserving the foodstuffs, saving them from rot. Wine, honey, strawberries; these were things his grandchildren would never know.


[Will Masters is a 28yr old from England, who has a passion for writing but has never done very much with it before this piece.]

18 comments:

laughingwolf said...

excellent start... keep at it, will :)

Mona said...

wow! imagine life without it all...

Although I have actually known one thing go extinct in my lifetime...when my son was five, he looked up from reading a book and asked me " Mom, what is a fountain pen?"

Aerin said...

I love that last line, Will - poignant, especially because I'm sappy when it comes to my kids...*sigh*...

Hear this clearly: for not writing much, you've already risen to the top half of the entries, in my opinion. Next contest, you could probably win it.

Um, so...why don't you stop /now/ and give the rest of us a chance? (KIDDING!)

JR's Thumbprints said...

This is a timely piece, with global warming screwing up our weather patterns. Very appropriate title.

PEOPLE, PLACES, VOICES, FACES... said...

Don't stop the writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.

Deb S said...

Love the melancholy tone at the end! And keep writing.

quin browne said...

nice~and, mona...tell your son i have 10 of them in working order--all i write with!

illyra taylor said...

why is there such beauty when we are in sight of the end of things? I'll tell you, you're #2 on my reader's choice...it was a tight race.

The Preacherman said...

I think my bit of England would be flooded.

Really well written old bean. Let the passion flow now eh?



Four Dinners

Catvibe said...

I had to laugh at your tag. Great start then! Sad thoughts about a future world.

Precie said...

Bravo for a lovely start! Good writing, fascinating perspective.

September said...

excellent - this was good.
the ending so sad - and possibly very true. Good work.

pjd said...

Mona, both my boys have fountain pens (for the novelty and quaintness of it). They are baffled by vinyl records, though, and have no concept of a world without downloadable music.

We saw a film with a Walkman in it, and my older son (12 at the time) said, "That's a huge mp3 player." I explained that mp3 files didn't exist in 1983. He said, "How did they download from iTunes, then?"


WIll: This is well written in Phillip's voice mostly. His exhaustion is evident, as is his disgust for what mankind failed to do when he was little. I think it feels a bit preachy, though... like you have a Point to make. Which of course you do, and it's a good Point, but it's a Point nonetheless. My personal experience is that fiction becomes much more difficult to write when you are trying to make a Point. But you've done a very good job of it.

Aniket said...

lol @ Aerin:

You are a devil aren't you? :D :D

May I win the next to next one then? Pretty please. :D
(And everyone thinks Jason and Jaye are going to decide who wins. Ha!! :P :P)

Aherm. Seriously Will, extremely good stuff for a start. You are going to go a long long way. Keep up the good work.

Chris Eldin said...

Will, definitely keep writing! This is very good, and a creative take on the prompt.

Will said...

Thanks for the comments guys.

I'd deliberately not read any of the other entries when I put this together, and I'm staggered by the standard. I'm very flattered to be among such fine company!

JaneyV said...

Will - I think this is a very promising start and i hope that you continue to write. Your piece was very good. As I am a firm believer in supporting a return to a more environmentally sustainable way of life, I found your point to be well made and very moving. I look forward to reading your entires in future contests.

jason evans said...

What a place to work. Ghosts of the most poignant kind. Then again, maybe it's a comfort. Maybe he never wants to leave.

High marks for pacing and technical elements.