Friday, July 10, 2009

Entry #25

The Messenger
by Aimée Laine


His ROAR of anger shook the wall behind me as a sprinkle of shattered crystal rained down upon my head. His favorite red stained the perfectly smooth plaster in unbalanced lines. I expected the replacement, set at his right, would surrender to the same fate momentarily.

In fear, I focused on the goblet, watching the red liquid’s undulations within. The radiated tension alone shook the sideboard on which it rest.

“Again,” he commanded.

In deference, I knelt. I wanted not to perish in recounting the scandalous tidings.

“I confirm the prince is alive, your majesty.” I closed my eyes quickly in anticipation.

The chalice missed my head by mere centimeters.

As the King’s private messenger, the confines of the castle protected me. Nevertheless, my role embodied danger.

His jeweled fingers flexed into a clenched fist as he bellowed, “How is this possible?”

“The women, your majesty. They sheltered and cared for him.”

“For fifteen years and we knew not?”

I ventured to stand, my hands at my sides, head bowed. “Yes, your majesty, you were not aware.”

“And now this Cenhelm, this boy, this prophesied ruler of MY kingdom makes his way?”

“Yes, your majesty.”

“Then we shall prepare for his arrival.” The venom of hatred laced the upturned corners of his mouth. Preparation for capitulation or death I expected.

I restrained any change in my visage. To reveal would be to brandish my own confidences.

For the messenger oft knows more than he discloses.

24 comments:

laughingwolf said...

oh yes, often a lot more :)

Ello said...

oh that was quite good. very nice!

Katherine Napier said...

You did an excellent job of completing this visual and the thought in such a tight parameter. Great piece.

Josh said...

Great twist at the end. Good visual details and dialogue. Well done.

Catvibe said...

Nice ending, leaves me wanting more!

Aniket said...

You painted the whole scene with great ease. It felt more like watching than reading. Nice work!

Laurel said...

Yay! Good scene, good drama, and I totally want to know more about the messenger.

Karen said...

Nice feel of historical fiction and perfect ending.

JR's Thumbprints said...

As they say, "Don't kill the messenger." What is said and what is known are to separate entities. Very clever depiction.

Linda S. Socha said...

Oh My
I stepped into that one quite innocently and almost had to stay the required fairy years (100?)
Love it....Well done Jason.

Merry Monteleone said...

Wow, now I want to read the whole story - great feel and voice.

Aimee Laine said...

Thank you all for the kind words! :)

This little blurb is but a tiny piece in a completely different story. That wine glass simply brought it to life. :)

Tessa said...

Great sense of time and place...well done!

BernardL said...

Left me wanting more. Very good.

pjd said...

I like the way you've slowly revealed bits along the way until we get a (nearly) complete picture by the end. I like this Cenhelm guy in this story and now wonder what tie this story has to the 9th century saint of similar name...

Hoodie said...

The last line colors the whole piece.

Splendid job.

aditi said...

Hello there,

Oh I so agree with Aniket, this was more viewing in my mind's eye than reading. Excellent choice of words... especially at the climax. I would be repeating but yes, it does leave you wanting more.

As the Mind Meanders said...

Brilliant

Anonymous said...

Terrific underpainting! I want more.

Tara

JaneyV said...

“For fifteen years and we knew not?”

I ventured to stand, my hands at my sides, head bowed. “Yes, your majesty, you were not aware.”


This was the most important piece of their interaction as it shows that the mesanger knew a lot more than he was letting on. I think you handled the gradual unfolding of the information with great skill. Well done.

Aimee Laine said...

Ha!! JaneyV, Thank you! You noted a delibrate piece of information. I wondered if anyone would think it an error, when in fact it was so much a part of the elements. :) Thank you for the comment! :)

Terri said...

Very well written scene and I would totally read the book (and probably watch the movie too).

Jade L Blackwater said...

Great story! I like to think that the messenger is the very person of whom they speak, who has indeed already arrived. I'd love to hear more from this world.

jason evans said...

He's coming with friends, isn't he? Sounds like the king failed to finish him off. High marks for storytelling.