The Messenger
by Aimée Laine
His ROAR of anger shook the wall behind me as a sprinkle of shattered crystal rained down upon my head. His favorite red stained the perfectly smooth plaster in unbalanced lines. I expected the replacement, set at his right, would surrender to the same fate momentarily.
In fear, I focused on the goblet, watching the red liquid’s undulations within. The radiated tension alone shook the sideboard on which it rest.
“Again,” he commanded.
In deference, I knelt. I wanted not to perish in recounting the scandalous tidings.
“I confirm the prince is alive, your majesty.” I closed my eyes quickly in anticipation.
The chalice missed my head by mere centimeters.
As the King’s private messenger, the confines of the castle protected me. Nevertheless, my role embodied danger.
His jeweled fingers flexed into a clenched fist as he bellowed, “How is this possible?”
“The women, your majesty. They sheltered and cared for him.”
“For fifteen years and we knew not?”
I ventured to stand, my hands at my sides, head bowed. “Yes, your majesty, you were not aware.”
“And now this Cenhelm, this boy, this prophesied ruler of MY kingdom makes his way?”
“Yes, your majesty.”
“Then we shall prepare for his arrival.” The venom of hatred laced the upturned corners of his mouth. Preparation for capitulation or death I expected.
I restrained any change in my visage. To reveal would be to brandish my own confidences.
For the messenger oft knows more than he discloses.
Friday, July 10, 2009
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24 comments:
oh yes, often a lot more :)
oh that was quite good. very nice!
You did an excellent job of completing this visual and the thought in such a tight parameter. Great piece.
Great twist at the end. Good visual details and dialogue. Well done.
Nice ending, leaves me wanting more!
You painted the whole scene with great ease. It felt more like watching than reading. Nice work!
Yay! Good scene, good drama, and I totally want to know more about the messenger.
Nice feel of historical fiction and perfect ending.
As they say, "Don't kill the messenger." What is said and what is known are to separate entities. Very clever depiction.
Oh My
I stepped into that one quite innocently and almost had to stay the required fairy years (100?)
Love it....Well done Jason.
Wow, now I want to read the whole story - great feel and voice.
Thank you all for the kind words! :)
This little blurb is but a tiny piece in a completely different story. That wine glass simply brought it to life. :)
Great sense of time and place...well done!
Left me wanting more. Very good.
I like the way you've slowly revealed bits along the way until we get a (nearly) complete picture by the end. I like this Cenhelm guy in this story and now wonder what tie this story has to the 9th century saint of similar name...
The last line colors the whole piece.
Splendid job.
Hello there,
Oh I so agree with Aniket, this was more viewing in my mind's eye than reading. Excellent choice of words... especially at the climax. I would be repeating but yes, it does leave you wanting more.
Brilliant
Terrific underpainting! I want more.
Tara
“For fifteen years and we knew not?”
I ventured to stand, my hands at my sides, head bowed. “Yes, your majesty, you were not aware.”
This was the most important piece of their interaction as it shows that the mesanger knew a lot more than he was letting on. I think you handled the gradual unfolding of the information with great skill. Well done.
Ha!! JaneyV, Thank you! You noted a delibrate piece of information. I wondered if anyone would think it an error, when in fact it was so much a part of the elements. :) Thank you for the comment! :)
Very well written scene and I would totally read the book (and probably watch the movie too).
Great story! I like to think that the messenger is the very person of whom they speak, who has indeed already arrived. I'd love to hear more from this world.
He's coming with friends, isn't he? Sounds like the king failed to finish him off. High marks for storytelling.
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