Sunday, July 12, 2009

Entry #71

Who Ya Gonna Call?
by Kenneth Weary


Hunting ghosts is hard work, but it paid the bills. I reminded myself of that as I ran through the dank halls of Westin Hills Hospital. I had only been a freelance exorcist for two years, but I was one of the best.Though one couldn't tell if they saw me now. I was shaking in my boots. I hated haunted buildings. I had been hired to rid the old hospital of a ghostly teen girl who had died in a fire in 1889. A spiteful little bitch, Franny had caused rebuilding to be delayed indefinitely with her tantrums. Suddenly, the dusty double doors blew open as a whirlwind pursued me, Fran the center of its eye.

She had caught me off guard and I gave a little whimper. Taking a swig of red wine from my Hello Kitty flask, I braced myself. Franny sighted me and blew forward in a rage. I reached into my bag and pulled out my trusty-- stake?

"Shit!" I cried. I had meant to bring my cross. The Damned were afraid of God, a stake was not acceptable. I didn't have time to react as I was swept up in Franny's ghostly wind. Time to improvise, I thought. Pulling my lighter from my pocket, I filled my mouth with red wine and spit it on the flame. Franny screamed in the flare and dropped me. she hovered by the ceiling and gathered herself, then rushed forward again. I was ready.

"Bring it bitch," I muttered.

22 comments:

Chris Eldin said...

HAAHA! Very nice and very clever!! I enjoyed this immensely. Will it be part of a larger story? I hope so...

Sarah Laurenson said...

LOL

Hello Kitty flask

Great details. How fun.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Now I'm going to have that Ray Parker Jr. song in my head for days. Nice action piece.

Catvibe said...

Yikes, do they have malpractice insurance for stupid mistakes like bringing the stake instead of the cross? Like Sarah, I loved the Hello Kitty Flask! Also, I thought this was very well written, and I could see it clearly down to the details of Frannie's face in the eye. You did a good job of capturing his character and making the story humorous. Nice read.

laughingwolf said...

lol... too funny!

Laurel said...

This hit the sweet spot! I must echo everyone on the Hello Kitty flask.

The opening jumps right in and it is funny and scary at the same time.

Real ghosts?
Real exorcists?
A real exorcist(one of the best) whose afraid of haunted buildings?

Awesome!

wvs: cyagin. Gin that is blue.

wrath999 said...

Very different and very good

alex

Mark said...

Wow. You're gettin' lots of play off that Hello Kitty flask. LOL.

Good stuff.

Ello said...

Cool! I thought this was great and different!

Aniket said...

I sported a 5 inches smile, as soon as I read the titles. Me and bro. used to sing the song together back in the salad days. I loved Ghostbusters and I so love this one. She is a rockstar!

Totally loved this one. :)

Hoodie said...

Hello Kitty flask!
Ha!

I like the tone you set here, the juxtaposition between fear and humor.

The Ghostbusters would be proud.

BernardL said...

I liked this very much. :)

Therese said...

Oooooh, I'd love to see this turned into a longer story! There's just so much here, it's wonderful. Please turn this into a longer story. Please please please. :)

Therese said...

Oh, I meant to say that I really like the complexity of this character, already. Is she a teenager? How did she get into this business? How do people even know to call her?

So many questions. I would love to see where you go with this, if you do run with it.

pjd said...

Red wine is the logical choice with stake. I would have been troubled if you'd brought red wine and fish, for example.

What's that? Oh... never mind.

I like the premise. Freelance exorcists... like bounty hunters in reverse. More like bounty getter-ridders. Great concept. And of course, wonderful last line. Though I dearly want to know what his strategy is now.

B. Nagel said...

Huh. I thought the MC was a girl. Even in the first paragraph. Don't know why.

Fun little story. Now where's Egon with the trap?!

Kenneth said...

Thanks guys for the support. I'm still in high school so I have a lot to learn. I do want this to be a series so I will be entering shorts about my exorcist. Oh, and for the record, the MC is a girl, Tru Summers

Dottie said...

Kenneth, you don't have too much to learn. I really liked this and yes, I liked the Hello Kitty flask, too. Stand out story.

JaneyV said...

What an entertaining piece. I too assumed her to be teenager (the Hello Kitty flask spoke volumes). Loved the story. I think this could be a book.

Tessa said...

Great story, Kenneth. I agree with the other comments...this could be turned into a great book! Well done.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Great action and description - I am completely swept up in the scene.

jason evans said...

A good ghost fight. that's something you don't see enough of. Sounds like our protagonist just needs to get mad.

High marks for pacing.