Monday, July 13, 2009

Entry #99

The Look In Agave’s Eyes
by Kimberly Bea


He knew nothing of mothers. How could He? His died before His birth, and He was born from the womb of His father’s thigh. There were days he barely remembered Semele’s name. Yet when she was insulted, He raged within, and swore vengeance against His own kin.

Yet He was struck by the look in Agave’s eyes.

She held her trophy high, heedless of the blood dripping down her arm. Her eyes were fevered and her color high, intoxication blending with the pride of accomplishment. It would not last; she was due for the worst ‘morning after” in history, once she knew her trophy for the head of Pentheus; once she realized she had killed her own son.

Pentheus. His curls tangled around her fingers;hisblood dripped down her arm. The king of Thebes had been rent to pieces by his drunken mother. It hurt to be rent to pieces; He knew that very well. But maybe it hurt worse to have done the rending, to have slain your kin all unawares. Pentheus, deceased, would drink of Lethe’s waters and forget. The memory was Agave’s alone.

He could never know the bond between mother and son. He did not regret this, nor would He regret when Agave was cast out of the city, when Thebes’ entire royal family fell to exile and murder. Yet He would not look back upon it with pride.

Dionysus poured out wine and drank it, but it did not dull His senses at all.

21 comments:

The Preacherman said...

I wasn't expecting a Greek tragedy to pop up in this competition.

Really well written and very interesting read. Thank you.



Four Dinners

Laurel said...

Great take on the prompt! I can't believe it's the first reference to Dionysus.

A Greek tragedy in the glass. Cool.

Therese said...

Intriguing. I like the idea behind this story and would love to see it developed into a longer piece.

Precie said...

Great and novel approach!

Aniket said...

I again agree with Laurel (Hopefully, for the last time. I hate it when this happens :))

I was looking out for Dionysus to pop in. Finally he arrives in style.

I am fan of the Percy Jackson series, so totally love the greek gods gelled into fiction.

Nicely done.

Catvibe said...

Cool, you brought Dionysus in! Only took 99 entries! Nice take, I enjoyed it.

laughingwolf said...

superbly done, kimberly :)

joaquin carvel said...

wow - the ambiguity is as chilling as the rendering of the scene is powerful. this is a strong and well-crafted piece.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Maybe it's just me, but I think I would've modernized it. Put Dionysus in a disco or something. Okay, I know I know, disco's dead ... but still. And what's a "Truth in Wine" contest without a Dionysus! I agree with Catvibe.

Kimberly B. said...

Thanks for all the great comments, everyone. And JR's Thumbprints, I have thought about doing a modernized Dionysus, although with more of a heavy metal than a disco feel .
(I should mention---I had that idea 15 years ago or so!)
Again, thanks everyone!

Amanda F. said...

Dionysus + Greek Tragedy + fluid writing style = awesome. Way to rock the prompt.

pjd said...

I think Amanda F said it best.

Deb S said...

Tragically done;-)

Chris Eldin said...

I know I'm not appreciating this as fully as it needs to be because I'm not familiar with this Greek tragedy. But I still think it's well-written and very clever!

Kimberly B. said...

Thanks for saying that, Chris. I knew that not everyone would be familiar with the Bacchae and I'm glad to see that even those who don't know the play can still get something out of my piece!

quin browne said...

always a fan of greek tragedy.

Terri said...

Oh my, I know nothing of Greek tragedy, but Oh My. I am suitably traumatised.

September said...

I was going to say it was Greek to me, but then I actually got it. I like it when that happens.
This was interesting. Glad Dionysus showed up - afterall, the prompt is a glass of wine. Good work.

JaneyV said...

I'm blown away by your take on the prompt. Like everyone else it's the last thing I was expecting. It's good to be surprised.

jason evans said...

A huge scope to this mythology. Yet, it gives us a taste of humanity.

High marks for technical elements.

Jaye Wells said...

This one begs to be expanded. Nice work!