Maternal Instinct
by Katherine Tomlinson
I told my children not to feed the birds that live in the trees that shadow our house.
I warned them, but they refused to listen. They didn’t understand the peril of inviting the birds close with their beaks and claws and dangerous natures.
Like most little ones they were enchanted by all wild creatures. They had no regard for their personal safety and were as likely to pick up a venomous serpent as they were a harmless garden snake.
And so, I kept them indoors where they were safe. They could still see the birds from their windows but the birds could not peck out their eyes or strip ribbons of flesh from their fragile bones or snatch hanks of their silken hair and use it to build their nests.
I locked my children into their bedrooms for their own protection and when they kept trying to run out of their rooms when I brought them food, I stopped feeding them. They didn’t understand that I wasn’t punishing them; they didn’t comprehend my motives for keeping them away from the birds.
I’m wise to the ways of the winged ones. I can decode the sinister messages in their songs; I can translate the secret communications in their chirps and whistles. They have told me they want to claim my children.
I will not let that happen.
I will kill them first.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
32 comments:
I loved this. You kept layering and layering until the suffocation was inevitable.
To kill with love is darkness realized.
Excellent story.
The slow burn of madness unwrapped one step after another. Loved reading this piece. Deffo one of my favourites.
Mc's degeneration perfectly paced. Seems like a very contemporary tale. Methinks I sense future matricide.
Oh dear.
Obsessions, fixations... phew!!!
Feel very sorry for the children. Even more sorry for her.
It is beautiful. Excellently written. I loved the core of the story. Very clever use of the birds.
Creepy and excellent read
I like the ambiguity of "them" in the end.
The creepiness of such flawed logic really turns my stomach. Unfortunately, it's used all the time in politics around here. Sigh.
You reallt bring the characters derangement to the fore by having him rationalize his behaviour.
The scary thing is there are people like that out there. The pacing was brill, great job!
That was a great read. I loved how it became more intense till the very end. Good job!
Superbly told tale of obsessive, possessive madness. Definitely a winner - brava!
Terrifying in its insane logic.
Well done.
this is homeground for me...[breathes deeply] this feels home...
thank you ever so much for this! :)
mithun mukherjee
A wonderful portrayal of madness confused with love. Chilling.
This is really brilliant! Misguided maternal instincts!!
Thank you so much for the feeback--It's an honor just to be posted in such creative company.
Love is too complicated... hatred on the other hand is so pure.
Loved how the plot unravels and the character shines through. Great work.
superb, katherine :)
Oh those poor children. Katherine, this is truly terrifying because it's actually so plausible. The mother's instinct to protect her children is normally such a pure and laudable thing - but in the hands of a madwoman it's more sinister than almost anything I can think of.
You wrote this so well...
This reads like a mother with post-partum psychosis. Whatever instinct that drives them to harm their children is always a warped, hallucinatory protective derangement.
Choking read. Well done development.
Chilling! And very well written.
So you've met my mother then?
Built up from slightly manic to completly deranged so well in so few words.
Marvellous writing.
Wow, creepy. Great pacing! Well done.
Whoa! Madness done well. Beautiful writing, too.
I'd pick this one.
Jean Ann
Very dark, this one goes on the favorite list!
This is downright creepy as hell. Well done and just chilling.
Nice look into the thoughts of someone going insane.
Instinct turned around. I love the economy of style and statement in this.
Very strong, dark voice. I like how she provides logical reasons, how they build up to her final decision.
Beautifully done. Love the slow reveal of the deepening madness. Going on my all-too-long favorite list.
Wow... you captured the madness very well. Instinct gone awry... and like Pete, I like the ambiguous ending.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
Okay, honestly, as well-written as this is and obviously you want to keep everything, I can't read it a third time because it creeps me out too much. Which, I'm pretty sure, means it's a resounding success.
Something I Might Tweak
Fifth paragraph, last two lines "they didn't" - I would combine somehow, make just a wee bit smoother, like the rest of the piece.
Progressive madness with pending danger. Good writing.
Post a Comment