Eternity
by Michael Morse
Look at me as if I exist. My wings are spread in flight. I have somewhere to go. You are drawn to me. You wish to ride my back, feel the wind, soar higher, and higher until the fear of flying is lost. The branches seem fragile, but here you are weightless. Join me in flight, and know what it means to be alive.
Blurred vision is new to you, but do not mourn your loss of sight, soon, all will be understood. Reach toward the sky. Touch me, climb into the void and fly. Finally, we are together.
Blackness.
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Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
The Official Compilation!
Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
Categories
- poetry (193)
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- INTP (6)
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- photography (5)
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- night conversations (4)
- cemetery reflections (3)
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- Clarity Notice (1)
- emotion study (1)
Visitors
~clausum~
21 comments:
I love the use of the imperative throughout. It creates a high sense of urgency. Excellent!
Nevine
Nicely done in so few words.
There is a strong sense of movement in this piece.
Not sure if I grasped all you tried to convey. But I loved the sense of compulsion the voice creates.
Aah, in the company of birds we leave this mortal coil. There is a wonderful, lyrical resonance here.
Strangely effective piece. The first line, though simply put, seems to be the ultimate plea for faith. This is followed by a 'Come Fly With Me' request, which presumably is taken up. And yet, in doing so, the conclusion appears to be a betrayal, i.e. 'blackness' and nothing else. Could it be a wry comment as to the merits of blind faith.
Thank you for the comments! I'm not used to getting feedback on my writing style. When I looked at the picture I saw a black hole in the shape of a hawk, kind of like a tear in the fabric of our world.
compelling...
Dark, compulsive sense of motion and beckoning. I've no idea what is going on but it doesn't seem important...
I'm with kashers.
Excellent writing and so few words to convey everything.
Very impressive stuff!!!
Just few words leave such a strong impression. However I guess I would like some more here.
It seems to me that an angel is speaking here and that this is a story of faith.
I thought it was a piece about death and the flight of it.
I like it very much.
Jean Ann
I'm seeing this as a riddle in a way. I think Pete has it right, an angel, or the perhaps an angel of death. Nice.
Yearning to know the unknown.
Very nice, Michael.
I think that this is very beautiful - so beautiful, in fact, that it could be written as a poem.
Look at me as if I exist.
My wings are spread in flight.
I have somewhere to go.
You are drawn to me.
You wish to ride my back,
feel the wind,
soar higher,
and higher until the fear of flying is lost.
The branches seem fragile,
but here you are weightless.
Join me in flight,
and know what it means to be alive.
Blurred vision is new to you,
but do not mourn your loss of sight,
soon, all will be understood.
Reach toward the sky.
Touch me,
climb into the void and fly.
Finally, we are together.
Blackness.
Thank you, Janey V! I wish I had thought to present it that way. I think I have a fear of poetry.
I'm in agreement with the change in form. I had difficulty reading this as a story, especially "Blurred vision is new to you." How would the narrator know? Change the form, and for whatever reason, it's no longer a distraction.
A definite sense of urgency, cast in a dark mood. Nice.
Very nice, but I like what JaneyV did. Makes it more powerful.
Aiya. I thought it was a junkie piece about an overdose.
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
I love the first line, enigmatic and philosophical - it's a great hook.
Something I Might Tweak
Throw in a few details - even in poetry form, I'd love to feel this a little more.
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