Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Entry #168

The Last Impression
by Nevea Lane


I let him go. I knew what we had was a temporary thing. He was married, and I was a lone wolf. He had obligations and I chose to shirk responsibility at every turn. I hoped he didn’t look back over his shoulder as he walked down my gravel driveway. I hoped that he would take our one night of foolishness for what it was, just foolishness.

We were friends once, fifteen years ago when being eighteen meant you knew everything and how the world worked. Why we never went past the ‘friend zone’ in our high school glory days I never knew; just like I will never know why we chose fifteen years in the future to step over that line, when there was so much more at stake.

We met again as I was looking for certain muffin at a grocer. We had coffee, caught up on who moved, who joined the army, who got arrested and who never left. He was one of those that never left. He got married to the girl next door and stayed. Two kids and a mortgage later, he was still here.

I left to chase my dreams. Perhaps I ran away from my feelings for him. Maybe liking him too much is what possessed me to let him into my home now, into my bed and into my heart once more. Still, I let him go. I watched him walk away, framed by the moonlight, his silhouette my last impression.

19 comments:

Laurel said...

This is so good, so bittersweet, and an evocative account of regret. The ONLY reason I bother with this minor, minor nit is because the writing is so good.

Why we never went pass the ‘friend zone’ in our high school glory days I never knew

Did you mean past?

You really captured a feeling here. The "what might have been" we all grapple with from time to time. Awesome.

Meghan said...

I really enjoyed this piece. Fabulously written and I love the contrast between the two. One's a free soul and the other is stable. A lot was experssed in a short piece. Great job.

kashers said...

Ah yes, the 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'. My guess is they'd have never worked. Still, they've perhaps had a night to remember.

Call me a cynic, but something tells me all her relationships will be in silhouette. As she herself admits, albeit maybe regretfully, she's a lone wolf.

Aniket said...

Loved the character's inner turmoil reflected throughout the piece. Very well written. Enjoyed reading it a lot.

catvibe said...

Yes, what Laurel said, you might ask Jason to fix that. But I loved this story, it was sweet, really. And I could completely understand why she did it, but sad that now she'll be left with the guild of having had an affair. Very nicely written.

laughingwolf said...

what laurel said... and yes, a very moving piece

word verif: sushade

jason evans said...

Fixed it.

lena said...

bittersweet... very emotional too, I truly liked it. Guess it is one of my favorite here.

Craig said...

The MC is very connvincing. Her turmoil comes across really well; she first acts as if she doesn't care and then trys to rationalize the situation.

Deb Smythe said...

Reminds me of that Dan Folgerberg song: Same Auld Lang Syne

pjd said...

This is very good. There is a line that once crossed complicates things.

Kartik said...

These things happen. You could come up with a million explanations and yet they wouldn't suffice!
Nicely done.

JaneyV said...

This is a very well-written piece examining regrets and what happens if we re-visit the one that got away.

If both parties were free it would have been the romantic reunion of soulmates. As it is, the wish has turned into a sad betrayal and a bunch more regrets.

Very nicely drawn.

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'd've included a bit of dialogue for that extra umphhh! Let the reader observe their interaction in the grocery store.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Yes. Why did they wait until there were more complications? It's the question a lot of people probably should ask themselves.

Well done.

Preeti said...

What PJD said.

I am leaving with a sad feeling.

BUT... her admittance that she is a lone wolf does make me a little skeptical. is she really a lone wolf or is it a defense mechanism that she has employed to delude herself...

I loved this because you're making me think about the character very strongly. the sub-layers beneath the layers make this piece very very compelling...

Aerin said...



my caveat

Something I Would Keep

The plot. I love the idea behind this, and his silhouette at the end.

Something I Might Tweak

Show us a little more, rather than just telling us - the details of the overnight, the way his hair looked in high school, etc.

Chris Eldin said...

Sometimes the complications are worth it. Sometimes not. Lots to ponder here, and I loved your way of telling this!

Nevea Lane said...

Hi, I am the writer of the story... Thank you all for your wonderful comments! I wish that it was longer but I had a limit of words...250! But I would love to go back and revisit this snippet and make it longer. Perhaps into a story of their own.