Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Entry #214

Copy Right 2009
by Sharidan Williams:Sotelo


“Blackbird ringing in the calm of flight.”

“What a great opening lyric,” he thought.

His car window was crusty but he focused sharply on the outline of a bird against the blinding light of a morning traffic jam. He was so intent on studying the shapes that the feathers made, that he wasn’t paying attention to the Beatles tune that was affecting him.

Once he got to work, he played hooky from his duties and feverishly scribbled out the song that was going to grow his hair, lose his weight, and get him out of debt. He knew audiences would find this tune through the viral air and it would blow delight into the ears of the weary. There had been no new songs on the charts. All hooks were samples; all melodies were remakes. He had cracked the code of creativity and discovered what only the originals had in them…

Until –

“Take these broken wings and learn to fry.”

“All his life.”

“He was only waiting for his moment to imbibe.”

“The song is complete,” he sighed.

He always hated when the rush of inspiration was over. He resumed working for his hourly wage. It was then in the mundane clarity that he was crushed. He realized that he only rewritten Lennon and McCartney. He couldn’t even recite the right lyrics. He couldn’t even copy them right.

No hair. No thin. No cash.

He was glad 2009 was over. He cursed the day he ever saw that bird.

18 comments:

Laurel said...

Funny and sad! I love the misquoted lyrics. The sense of failure is pervasive and near tragic...this is someone creative enough to know he isn't creating anything new.

Bernita said...

"No hair. No thin. No cash.'
Hoot!
Poor gormless guy.

John Wiswell said...

Ha! I love that you took the bird and turned it into a code name in your first line. That's one of the more clever uses of the picture that I've seen so far.

As for criticism, I think "fry" is a typo in "Take these broken wings and learn to fry.” "fly" almost certainly is more suited to the story.

Deb Smythe said...

I don't know, John. I think "fry" is funnier.

laughingwolf said...

'black bird, fly...'

well done!

Aniket said...

"No hair. No thin. No cash." really cracked me up too. At least I have hair. ;)

Enjoyed the piece a lot.

Aerin said...



Caveat

Something I Would Keep

The wrong lyrics - HUGEly funny, and say a lot about the protagonist without too much description.

Something I Might Tweak

I don't think you need the very last sentence - the 2009 was over sentence is quite good!

Preeti said...

aww...

there are times when we want to get creative and we do get a lead but somewhere halfway we muddle up big time. then all those lines and works that inspire us tend to amalgamate and make themselves visible in our work. and we are left with something that's already been done...

hmmnn.. the despondency and frustration at the end of such an experience... sigh...

the poor poor guy...

James R. Tomlinson said...

I'm reminded of the time my wife was singing a Bruce Cockburn song.

"If I had a broken lawn chair," she crooned, "I'd make somebody pay."

I asked her to repeat the lyrics, which by then, she realized were completely wrong.

"It's rocket launcher," I said. "Rocket launcher."

With that said, I can certainly appreciate your story.

Aerin said...

LOL @ broken lawn chair

Sarah Laurenson said...

Yes. Aren't we all going to become gazillionaires and solve all of our problems when we get published? I can so relate.

Aimee Laine said...

Inspiration at the hand of others. Sometimes good. Whoops for him. :)

JaneyV said...

So much is derivative these days....

This was really funny. Every time we get an idea, as writers, we have to wonder where it came from....

Craig said...

Sigh, sad but oh so true.

Leatherdykeuk said...

Sometimes we all stand on another's shoulders!

pjd said...

Broken lawn chair? Somebody's gonna pay.

@Aniket: Hair is overrated.

He couldn't even copy down the lyric right. That is hilarious.

catvibe said...

Loved it! A tiny tweek:
He realized that he only rewritten Lennon and McCartney.
shouldn't it be 'that he had...'?
Otherwise a pure delight to read!

Kartik said...

You referenced the Beatles in your story, that makes my day! :D
And of course I loved the premise!