Saturday, January 09, 2010

Entry #90

No One Can See Where There Is No Light
by Patsy Collins


You think I'm free, don't you? Because you saw me leave, you imagine I can stretch my wings and fly away from you. Stay away. You think you set me free - as though you had that power. You do have power. Not enough to keep me loving you and not enough to release me. But you could have.

You must find the power.

I did love you once and you loved me. We thought we had a future together. We have futures still, I suppose. There's more to come. It's not what you dreamed though. Not even in those dark dreams that made you moan and sweat 'til you woke and sat staring into the night. A blackness that wasn't as dark as what you'd seen. I thought then that you'd seen into my mind, but you couldn't have done. No one can see where there is no light.

Do you think of me and know I'm not really gone? Do you know that what you almost glimpse, almost recognise is not a shadow? It's the silhouette of our love. It's what remains when the love is gone. No love, but no release. No freedom. I'm bound to you until death do us part.

And you must set me free.

34 comments:

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...

I enjoyed reading this. bondage in love...nice.

kashers said...

Can be interpreted a number of ways, but desperation is an emotion we all, at some to or other, have or will experience. Well conveyed.

pjd said...

echo kashers. This is like the end of Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the Dashboard Light"--I'll never break my promise or forget my vow, but God only knows what I can do right now; I'm praying for the end of time, that's all that I can do... praying for the end of time so I can end my time with you."

OK, not exactly like that.

Sarah Laurenson said...

LOL, Pete. I love that song.

This is a very powerful piece. Well done. Off to read it again even though I'm far behind in my reading and commenting for today.

She Writes said...

I am divorced and remember craving freedom by the end of the marriage. He was cold as ice.

Bernita said...

Reads like a plea for murder - or an invocation for his suicide.
The plain, bleak and fundamental simplicity of the prose is a suitable enhancement of the theme.

Craig said...

Beware the power of that you cannot see. Ideals and ideas are constrict us tighter than any chain.

Patsy said...

Thanks for all the comments. I agree that this can be read in several different ways. I intended the reader's own past would play a part in their understanding of this - didn't consider the lyrics to any Meat Lof songs though!

Paul D. Brazill said...

The scary, gothic aspects of the everyday. Good take on the pic.

JaneyV said...

I agree with Bernita's take that this is a plea either for the Narrator to be killed or for the lover to kill himself. Having left the awful relationship and still realising she is tethered to him emotionally she longs for those bonds to be severed by death.


I can't help but feel that she's fooling herself. If she truly wanted to let go she could.

Strong writing - vivid and emotional.

strugglingwriter said...

Great story. Really liked it. Loved the titled, also. That really drew me in.

lena said...

Really great powerful writing here. Very emotional.

Aniket said...

The thing I like about this is that it can be interpreted in so many ways. Makes one wonder and make up their own endings and beginnings.

And for a moment or more most of us have had this feeling of helplessness in life.

catvibe said...

Powerful and emotional, compelling and engaging.

Lee Hughes said...

I like the way you cleverly left it up to us to draw our own conclusions. Great piece Patsy.

Preeti said...

Wow. That was a voice that definitely came from the depths of an agonized soul. How stupid we are...deluding ourselves with flying aways and freedoms when we know that at times we just cannot tear ourselves away.
Sigh...
I loved this... totally.

Aimee Laine said...

Such sadness built into so few words!

Kartik said...

Freedom/release can be both overrated and underrated. It's when you are in the middle, the lack thereof hurts the most!

Patsy said...

Thanks everyone.

Yes Janey, if she really wanted to she could probably free herself.

Preeti, agony is character building.

Megs - Scattered Bits said...

Evocative. Deep. Shivery kind of. I love it.

laughingwolf said...

very nicely done, patsy!

Laurel said...

We have futures still, I suppose. There's more to come.

This is the hinge of the piece for me, the part that connects her (her? I read it as a her.) to a past she wants to leave and a future still tied to him. It's the ugly side of hope, the kind that makes you hold on to something toxic.

She has to let go of the future with him to get away from the past, I think.

Powerful words.

Patsy said...

Thank you.

Yes, Laurel, I did imagine the narrator as female.

illyriataylor said...

great piece and so refreshing after all of these same old same olds.
well done

Deb Smythe said...

The emotion in this piece is both subtle and powerful. A lot of layers. Great writing.

Anonymous said...

well done
gg

peter davidson said...

Very well written, as aways! Enjoyed, well done!

Patsy said...

Thanks!

Anonymous said...

You did a good job working the title of the story into your flash; hell, I'd've flicked a switch and gotten it over with. Very heartfelt writing. --JR

truevoid said...

i liked it!!!

Patsy said...

Thank you.

Chris Eldin said...

"She has to let go of the future to be free of the past" is what I took away from this as well. Powerful title, and very well written!

james r. tomlinson said...

Upon a second read, I'm reminded of Milan Kundera's "Unbearable Lightness of Being." This is heavy stuff here.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like the Golden Globes or those wretched Old Navy dummies.