Sunday, January 10, 2010

Entry #92

The Lone Raven
by Madhumita


The first snow. Never quite half as romantic as it is thought to be when it disintegrates into dirty, inconvenient slush. It clings and seeps through the cracks in your shoes.

To think he had left India for this!

*

‘Tourist Guide weds American Tourist’- the news had made headlines. But like the first snow, headlines also lose most of their romanticism in reality. Their pact had been clear - Jenny needed his life’s- savings, Rs. One Lakh, to get back to her country, having smoked away her own dole; he needed to get to the land of opportunity somehow, anyhow.

‘The Indian Husband’ had found himself on the roads once Jenny’s unwashed boyfriend had returned. Bundled out with his backpack, some dollars and ‘thank your stars, no fat lip, you filthy Browny!”

To take his mind away from the chill creeping up his feet, he looked up. Bare boughs, grey skies and….a lone raven.

*

Janitor.

Helper.

Second Chef.

Indian Cuisine Expert.

Fumbling, bumbling, he’d made his way. Today was the opening of his ‘Tandoori Nights-Experience India!’

A small mention in the local network, some pictures, this time with beaming Radha by his side, still unable to believe that he did mean, ‘ I’ll call you the moment I can, trust me.’

“So what made you stay on despite the odds?”

“The lone raven!”

“What?”

He moved away, the reporter wouldn’t understand.

Unlike sparrows, ravens stay on, amidst snow, grey skies and bare boughs.

For the eventual Spring.

25 comments:

Preeti said...

Wow. Very nice. Felt sad for the man in the beginning. But all's well that end's well. And here I am, actually feeling very proud of him. :-)

Nicely written. Simple and beautiful.

Bernita said...

He trusted the omen - and himself.
Very nice read. I liked it.

Lena said...

I like the story. It is simple and nicely done. I am glad the man made the best out of it.

Ayodele Morocco-Clarke said...

Loved it.

JaneyV said...

Perseverance, self-belief and determination won the day.

What a fantastic tale.

Craig said...

A truly inspiring tale.

Aniket said...

Loved the end... Inspiring and uplifting.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Glad he kept true to himself and what he believed. Awesome tale.

austere said...

Wonderful!

Awesomely optimistic.

wrath999 said...

Great inspiration.

pjd said...

They used each other, so fair is fair. He was lucky not to get a fat lip from that bloke. Interesting observation about the crow, though, and inspirational to use it in such a way.

Kartik said...

The symbolism of the raven was pretty neat. Uplifting tale!

Scribblers Inc said...

truly inspiring...you can always find someone or some story that would come close to this...only the geography changes...

Mithun.

Meghan said...

Love the ending and what the raven represents. Great job!

laughingwolf said...

good one!

Laurel said...

Inspirational!

anks said...

Lovely.... :)

Four Dinners said...

Living in an area with a high Asian population I can identify here as I have a few friends who could be a 'variation on the theme'.

The best bit is when they succeed as your hero did.

Warms the 'cockles' does this one.

For what it's worth you're in me top 5 easy!

Deb Smythe said...

Hooray for happy endings. Nice job.

truevoid said...

glued, committed. good work.

james r. tomlinson said...

Your transition from scene to scene is very powerful, very skillful. Nicely done.

Chris Eldin said...

Wow. Extremely emotional piece. I love your take on the raven, that it's an omen of hope and not death/despair. Your structure also adds another layer of depth to your writing. Very, very nicely done!

catvibe said...

You made the most of 250 words! I like your writing structure here, it works very well. I loved also the connection to the bird, as if by seeing the bird seeing from that high elevation, he was able to see the bigger picture of his own destiny and how he would make it work. Your character is very compelling, love to read more about his adventures.

Aerin said...

Dear Entrants #1-105,

I have read your pieces so that I can fairly participate in the Readers' Choice vote. (I read all of them through last week, before I started commenting.) I will be coming back around to offer my keep/tweak comment, but I didn't want anyone to snark.

Cheers,
Aerin (#236)

BTW, it's perfectly fine if you still want to snark, but this way you can choose a more appropriate subject, like the Golden Globes or those wretched Old Navy dummies.

SzélsőFa said...

I like the neat, almost cold-as-ice tone of the main character. he was determined, he took what life gave him, and went forward to reach his dreams. always marched forward. this comes through his voice.