Saturday, July 24, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #38

The Fairy's Gift
by LynnCee Faulk


Marvin stopped his ax mid-swing at the sight of the young girl, stumbling through the woods. Her hair was tangled and her dress hung limp and dirty off her frail frame. She lifted her leg to step over a branch and nearly fell. Putting down his ax, Marvin rushed over to her.

“Madame?” he said. “Why are you alone in the woods? Are you ill?”

She wet her cracked lips before speaking.

“Good sir, my mother has beaten me and turned me out.” With every word, a precious gem fell from her lips to the ground. Marvin looked down to see rubies, emeralds, sapphires and the biggest diamond he had ever seen nestled in the grass. He bent to pick up the diamond and in the sunlight he saw the rough edges of the gem were tinged with blood. He looked back up at the girl to see her eyes flutter as she fainted to the ground.

He scooped up all the gems from the ground and pocketed them. He then rushed back to his stack of wood, cleared off the cart and wheeled it over to the girl. Pulling a length of rope from his pack, he tied her hands behind her back, careful not to wake her. He paused before lifting her onto the cart to stroke her matted hair back from her damp forehead.

“Dream sweet, dear. You can tell me all about it when you wake.”

23 comments:

September said...

Poor little girl. I really thought he would rescue her and then ... the rope.
Nicely done.

Kimberly B. said...

Hey, great minds think alike, I guess! I love the last line in this one, and the way the woodsman ends up to be the villain here. Nicely done!

Peter Dudley said...

Protective when she's just a little girl. But when she turns into a cash cow, he turns exploitative.

I guess this is just the way it is with men and little girls.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Hah! Yeah. Pragmatic to the core. Very well done.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Here's the interesting thing with your story: As a reader you kept me guessing as to whether he was a good guy or a bad guy. It kept switching as the action unfolded. NIcely done.

Rohan said...

Ditto JR

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Amazing what people do out of greed.

Aimee Laine said...

Selfish, greedy, (#&%&#&. :) Nice twist to the end. :)

Shona Snowden said...

Nice ambiguity as to his character.

Aniket said...

I have a twisted mind. When you wrote she coughed blood. I thought the man would cut her open hoping to find more thinking someone made her swallow it. Gross I know. I should stop watching those super-dark movies. ;)

Michael Morse said...

Nothing good can come from woodsmen with axes and little girls. Except for a fascinating story. Well done, sir!

Lee said...

Delightfully wicked! I love the dark humor in the last line.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Oooo, an appropriately dark start to a fairy tale. Grim and well told.

LynnCee Faulk said...

Thank you all so much! I've had fairy tales on the brain lately and this one almost wrote itself. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi LynnCee!

I too thought he was going to be a knight in shining armor... too bad it was tarnished armor... Nicely done!

Dottie :)

Michael Morse said...

Sorry, well done, madame!

Deb Smythe said...

So much for fairy tale endings. Nice job.

Joni said...

If this were the first page of a novel I'd get my blanket and hot tea ready.

Smooth writing. Great job.

Laurel said...

Am I the only one thinking her mother was a moron?

Nice switch-up on old fairy tale tropes.

JaneyV said...

Oh no!!! Don't do it. Surely treating her with kindness would yield more in the long run - I mean if you're going to be a greedy bastard anyway. This left me feeling so disappointed in the human condition in the same way that Josh's Angel story did.

But boy you wrote it well!

Aaron M. Wilson said...

"With every word, a precious gem fell from her lips to the ground." Love it. I did not expect it.

Vincent Kale said...

Something about the way you wrote this just made the images jump off the page (er...screen). So it was like I was seeing rather than reading it.
Talent on your end or exhausted hallucination on mine? I'd vote for the former!

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

What a greedy man! I like this - I like your descriptions, especially, of the gems coming out of her mouth. Nicely done!