Monday, July 26, 2010

Forties Club Finalist #47

Uncovered
by Wuff Al


“Not easy stepping out of the comfort zone. But I had no choice. Father was hacked to death when I was four. Two years later, Mother was thrown off the cliff. Then, my village was run over by bandits. I counted myself lucky that I was let off by Master. He might be nasty to punch me every other day, but he gave me food and shelter. He might be mean to poke me from behind every other night, but he gave me guns to play with. One day, he gave me men to shoot at. I felt powerful. One night, while in bed, he told me he was assigning me a special task. He would make me the head of his second army if I succeed. I was reluctant to leave him and his ways. The next day, Master hauled me up and shouted at me to be a man. I nodded. With my gun, I was on my way. The enemies were smart. They had guards all over the place. I told myself I was smarter and I would complete my mission. I walked up to one guard and shoved the diamonds into his hands. I said I had more for the chief. He took me to him. I bowed to him before stabbing him on the chest. The rest is history and I’m your leader now……”

The army of boys marvelled at their twelve-year-old master, eager to wait for their turn to be uncovered by him.

15 comments:

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Yow. Such a harsh life that must be!

JR's Thumbprints said...

I get the sense that these army of boys go along with what their twelve-year-old master says because they are role playing. Or at least that's what I'd like to believe.

Peter Dudley said...

Brutal and chilling, and not all that far from some what's happened in some parts of the world in recent decades.

Jade L Blackwater said...

A dark story which flows well - I like how you've written the dialog so specifically to meet the needs of the speaker.

I'm still pondering your unique use of "uncovered"... for some reason, it's making me think about hawks with hoods... guess I have more writing to do.

Aniket said...

Felt a lot like the first 5 minutes of 300. I too loved the detached voice and the flow of it.

Aimee Laine said...

I so wish he were like a hundred retelling that story ... but the age really did fit. :)

Erratic Thoughts said...

Aww!A twelve-year-old Master.
That was something!Very well written.I liked that engaging speech by him.I wonder what all things I did as a twelve-year-old,err,nevermind.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi Wuff Al

Kind of reminds me of Lord of the Flies or Animal Farm...possibly his harsh existence. Only 12 years old and already the Master of his domain.

Excellent!

Dottie :)

Wuff Al said...

Dear Friends,

I appreciate your comments. Thank you very much!

You are right in your own ways about the story here. I never meant it to be closed.

Looking forward to reading some of your stories!

Cheers! :)

Laurel said...

Chilling narration, and reminiscent of some of the child army recruits being used up in parts of the world.

JaneyV said...

If this didn't have such a strong ring of truth to it it would still be a powerful piece, but unfortunately it does and it's devastating for that reason.

Deb Smythe said...

Echo Janey and Laurel.

Precie said...

I'm with Janey and Laurel and Deb...heartbreaking in its realism.

Vincent Kale said...

Tough life to say the least! Sounds like the child soldiers in some of the more downtrodden African countries, blood diamonds and such. Though this exactly scenario could play out in a number of places today, sadly.

Nice tone. You achieved a very detached sense of self here, which I'd believe necessary to survive in that environment.

Michelle Davidson Argyle said...

Wow! What a rough life! I like the sense of power in this.