Thursday, July 14, 2011

Entry #3

The Answer
by Kilian Conor

Of course I've fallen in love. Everyone makes mistakes.

There's a certain readjustment necessary to contain the swelling heart. A bigger ribcage, delicate and shining beneath my skin, under your fingers. I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name.

You took that from me. Crushed it between your ego and anger, and ground it deep into the floor. Repelled I blinked, realizing how badly I'd been taken. I took the matter into my court and deliberated the consequences.

A singular existence. A lonely one. Red.

The answer was red.


(Kil Conor writes short vulgarities, poetic atrocities, and tales of the very unfortunate. He also enjoys pie. Visit him HERE.)

27 comments:

Aimee Laine said...

There is a poetic nature to your short. I have to admit I didn't understand the end, but it flowed very 'prettily' through the words. So the clarity issue is probably just me. :)

j a zobair said...

Lovely prose. I love your last line.

Katherine Tomlinson said...

Crushed love. Red emotion. A killer first line. Altogether enjoyable.

Jade L Blackwater said...

Tasty prose. I especially like A bigger ribcage, delicate and shining beneath my skin, under your fingers

Mikki said...

Great emotion and word usage. "The answer was red": this line leaves your readers in contemplation, aiding in the overall impact of the piece. Very nice.

Thanks for sharing!

pegjet said...

Great first line, then a kick-ass second line. The one-two punch of a fantastic opening.

fairyhedgehog said...

This felt like poetry with layers of meaning. I'm not sure I got it and I kept wanting to reread it to work it out!

Catrina said...

Excellent first line.

This one was also particularly effective: "I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name."

You convey perfectly his/her obsession with the other.

Good job.

Michael Morse said...

That was fun to read, a must for me, because my brain is incapable of absorbing much until it is opened by amusement, then things sink in, and then I found it was truly great. Thank you.

Peter Dudley said...

I take "red" to be anger and vengeance in the end. This is aesthetically interesting, nice word choices. Poetic, as others have said.

bluesugarpoet said...

I like that your hero did something with that pain - guess I am a little twisted, though. :) Nicely done! ~Jana

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Loved "the swelling heart. A bigger ribcage..." Who knew a heart swelling with love, needed a roomier compartment? Then crushed at the end.

Nicely done!

Dottie :)

JaneyV said...

Kilian - love, anger, passion, vengeance, loneliness, hate - so much feeling distilled into so few words. Quite a feat.

Old Kitty said...

Love is truly an illness - oh but the heart is lost without it!! I really enjoyed this story! I hope you enjoy lots of pies! Take care
x

Jodi MacArthur said...

Hey,
It's been awhile since I've read your work. I found this poetic, erotic, and even... neurotic. Loved this line, "I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name."

Richard Levangie said...

The opening paragraphs are brilliant.

Chris Allinotte said...

I love the opening of this. The funny thing is, the rest is so poetic in its own right, that it doesn't seem to match the matter-of-fact proposition of your first two line.

Aside from that one point - really enjoyed it.

Guilie said...

"I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name".... Wow!! I always admire flash-fiction writers because it's so very hard for me to synthesize meaning in few words, but this is probably the very best I've ever read. Wow.

yamini said...

Your interpretation on the prompt, further has so many interpretations.. I loved the last part.. Great job.

Anneke said...

Excellent piece. I agree wih Jodi: poetic, erotic, neurotic.
You say so much in just a few words (the right ones),

Stina said...

Been a fan of Kil Conor's work since the beginning (thank you, social networking) and he never disappoints. Dark, obsessive, twisted, and violently raw emotion in each and every word. Poetic and deadly. Kil, thank you. Another excellent piece.

nobody said...

More great stuff. Every word is sublime, and then it ends with a sudden shift which leaves open ended considerations. Perfect.

Aidan Fritz said...

Beautiful opening. This story has a great voice.

jrthumbprints said...

I like it when "prose" isn't too heavy, when it's just right. You've mastered the imagery, sculpted it to perfection.

Apple Ardent Scott said...

At last, an answer to ponder longer than the question. I like the way the imagery fits with the emotions and then leaves the reader to carry on from the end. Well-written.

Aerin said...

I was with you until your mini-bio. In fact, I imposed my own story, with the Eve reference, to this one. Which maybe it's not, but I like to read it that way.

BUT.

If you like PIE, why on EARTH didn't you include it in the story?? I can TOTALLY see that flaming circle as hot cherry pie. Or maybe raspberry with a lemon sauce...

Wait, what were we saying?

jason evans said...

I liked the poetry and intent of this. And the deconstruction of love lost.

Congrats on Forties Club!