The Answer
by Kilian Conor
Of course I've fallen in love. Everyone makes mistakes.
There's a certain readjustment necessary to contain the swelling heart. A bigger ribcage, delicate and shining beneath my skin, under your fingers. I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name.
You took that from me. Crushed it between your ego and anger, and ground it deep into the floor. Repelled I blinked, realizing how badly I'd been taken. I took the matter into my court and deliberated the consequences.
A singular existence. A lonely one. Red.
The answer was red.
(Kil Conor writes short vulgarities, poetic atrocities, and tales of the very unfortunate. He also enjoys pie. Visit him HERE.)
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Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
The Official Compilation!
Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
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27 comments:
There is a poetic nature to your short. I have to admit I didn't understand the end, but it flowed very 'prettily' through the words. So the clarity issue is probably just me. :)
Lovely prose. I love your last line.
Crushed love. Red emotion. A killer first line. Altogether enjoyable.
Tasty prose. I especially like A bigger ribcage, delicate and shining beneath my skin, under your fingers
Great emotion and word usage. "The answer was red": this line leaves your readers in contemplation, aiding in the overall impact of the piece. Very nice.
Thanks for sharing!
Great first line, then a kick-ass second line. The one-two punch of a fantastic opening.
This felt like poetry with layers of meaning. I'm not sure I got it and I kept wanting to reread it to work it out!
Excellent first line.
This one was also particularly effective: "I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name."
You convey perfectly his/her obsession with the other.
Good job.
That was fun to read, a must for me, because my brain is incapable of absorbing much until it is opened by amusement, then things sink in, and then I found it was truly great. Thank you.
I take "red" to be anger and vengeance in the end. This is aesthetically interesting, nice word choices. Poetic, as others have said.
I like that your hero did something with that pain - guess I am a little twisted, though. :) Nicely done! ~Jana
Loved "the swelling heart. A bigger ribcage..." Who knew a heart swelling with love, needed a roomier compartment? Then crushed at the end.
Nicely done!
Dottie :)
Kilian - love, anger, passion, vengeance, loneliness, hate - so much feeling distilled into so few words. Quite a feat.
Love is truly an illness - oh but the heart is lost without it!! I really enjoyed this story! I hope you enjoy lots of pies! Take care
x
Hey,
It's been awhile since I've read your work. I found this poetic, erotic, and even... neurotic. Loved this line, "I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name."
The opening paragraphs are brilliant.
I love the opening of this. The funny thing is, the rest is so poetic in its own right, that it doesn't seem to match the matter-of-fact proposition of your first two line.
Aside from that one point - really enjoyed it.
"I am bone and meat interlaced for breath to speak your name".... Wow!! I always admire flash-fiction writers because it's so very hard for me to synthesize meaning in few words, but this is probably the very best I've ever read. Wow.
Your interpretation on the prompt, further has so many interpretations.. I loved the last part.. Great job.
Excellent piece. I agree wih Jodi: poetic, erotic, neurotic.
You say so much in just a few words (the right ones),
Been a fan of Kil Conor's work since the beginning (thank you, social networking) and he never disappoints. Dark, obsessive, twisted, and violently raw emotion in each and every word. Poetic and deadly. Kil, thank you. Another excellent piece.
More great stuff. Every word is sublime, and then it ends with a sudden shift which leaves open ended considerations. Perfect.
Beautiful opening. This story has a great voice.
I like it when "prose" isn't too heavy, when it's just right. You've mastered the imagery, sculpted it to perfection.
At last, an answer to ponder longer than the question. I like the way the imagery fits with the emotions and then leaves the reader to carry on from the end. Well-written.
I was with you until your mini-bio. In fact, I imposed my own story, with the Eve reference, to this one. Which maybe it's not, but I like to read it that way.
BUT.
If you like PIE, why on EARTH didn't you include it in the story?? I can TOTALLY see that flaming circle as hot cherry pie. Or maybe raspberry with a lemon sauce...
Wait, what were we saying?
I liked the poetry and intent of this. And the deconstruction of love lost.
Congrats on Forties Club!
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