Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Entry #87

The Queues
by Margaret D. Whittle


The moving sidewalks kept the two parallel lines orderly. No pushing or shoving allowed. I looked around for a familiar face but as the queues stretched before and aft for what seemed eternity, I had no luck.

Letting my mind wander to the events that had brought me to this place, I smiled. Justice had been served for all parties involved. I had welded the axe high and hard into Jacks' head and he would never abuse anyone again. The state had welded its gavel just as sure and swift to satisfy the blood thirsty throngs outside the courthouse. The blind lady's scale remained even. With a sigh, I thought to myself, "Oh my".

Where we were headed was anyone's guess, but I could see on the horizon a fork in the road where the sidewalks seemed to peel away from one another. Looking to my right, at a parallel traveler, who seemed content and at peace, I raised my eyebrows in a questioning manner. She shrugged her shoulders as if to say. “Who knows?". I nodded back, “Oh well".

The sidewalks began to split apart and looking over my shoulder I waved a farewell to the quiet women who had traveled by my side. Facing towards our destination, I could make out the light in the distance and noticed that the surrounding atmosphere was starting to warm up considerately. A sliver of fear stabbed my heart and shivering in spite of the heat, I thought to myself, “Oh Hell."

16 comments:

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Damn, didn't think she deserved Hell but loved the word play between "Oh well" and "Oh Hell".

Nicely done.

Dottie :)

Joni said...

This has a fun rhythm to it that juxtaposes the content. It works for me. Kinda like Shel Silverstein all grown up?

Aimee Laine said...

"Oh, Hell." Yep. Great! I love the end of each paragraph with an 'Oh ... something'. :)

Col Bury said...

Hi Margaret,

Melancholic feel to this. Will she be meeting Jack again, I wonder?

Regards,
Col

SzélsőFa said...

the end neatly unfolds... it was not until only the last paragraph when i understood what was going!
right pacing, great idea :)

Precie said...

Oh ______. Some great touches here. One tiny nit--I think you meant wielded instead of weld.

And, oh, how instruments of power can so easily be turned against themselves.

mcwhittle said...

Yep... Wield instead of Weld... If I could spell I would be dangerous..

;)

bluesugarpoet said...

Darn - I was hoping she was going to the other place - seems she did the world a favor. :) Nicely drawn vignette! ~Jana A

Old Kitty said...

Justice truly is blind!! I wanted to read on!! Take care
x

Mikki said...

Your pacing is wonderful. Great twist at the end.

Thank you for sharing!

Richard Levangie said...

Margaret: It seems like everyone counts, or no one does. A life is a life. A quiet, compelling vignette.

Aerin said...

Really, there were bloodthirsty throngs even though she killed an abuser? Poor woman, she just couldn't win.

rocky wing said...

the beginning seemed so nonchalant . . . and then the axe into the head . . . but still said with a nonchalant voicing and flow. as though this were just so natural, so necessary (ps i like this tone very much). then to parallel the falling of the axe with the gavel was genius. imagery of sidewalks peeling is great too.

JaneyV said...

Maragret - I love the way you built this up and the escalation from Oh my! to Oh well! and finally to Oh hell! I too feel that execution and damnation was a little harsh given who it was she'd killed but it made for a very entertaining read.

Peter Dudley said...

I wonder about that other woman. I believe it to be the other half of her soul, the part that's not going to hell for her actions. Interesting.

jason evans said...

Loved that twist! Did not see it coming. The diverging walkways were so clear in my mind. I especially liked the pacing.