Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Entry #88

Your Mother
by Francis Tan


Your mother grew up in a family of traditions. She learnt things the hard way, the way only a stern old man knew and executed. Regulations ruled with no room for tenderness and mistakes.

But she always knew her shell couldn't contain the free spirit within. Not when the influence of the modern city surrounding her family had an upper hand over her father. Before long, she was out away from home.

She got into sales and learnt the trades from an oldhand. She did pretty well before knowing that she had been conned. There began a series of disillusioned career paths, one after another.

She had no luck with love too. A young dude beat her up; a married man took her money; and a failed businessman killed himself.

By chance, we met at the pub. I was singing with my guitar. She came up to me, drunk in her sorrows. That night, she poured out her life.

She came back to the pub the following night, and the night after......

We got married in my hometown. I told her I couldn't give her much. She said it's ok 'cos I told her I'd be the first person she could always run to.

We talked, we listened; we laughed, we cried; we worked, we played. We were each other's elemental need.

And then we had you.

My fingers run on your face. You look like your mother. I wish you could meet her, little baby.


(Francis is a trader who loves music and reading.)

16 comments:

Guilie said...

So beautiful... So poignant in the brief happiness and the permanent loss. The last lines gave me actual chills; I can so perfectly picture the father's bittersweet smile.

Precie said...

The end makes me so sad. After all she survived, she didn't get to enjoy this.

Well done.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

After living through her personal form of hell, she doesn't get to have her personal piece of heaven. Sad :(

Nicely done.

Dottie :)

Joni said...

The separation of mother and child is a theme that will always resonate with me. Gut-wrenching. I'm glad that baby has its daddy.

Aimee Laine said...

That's a very touching story. A lot of history in so few words.

SzélsőFa said...

its interesting how the story gradually evolves from being quite dry, or even detached to expressing the father's honest love towards his offspring.

bluesugarpoet said...

So sad that the mother didn't have a chance to enjoy her greatest work. Touching story! ~Jana A

Old Kitty said...

This story is like an ode to their baby - much loved and wanted - with such a sad last line. A very poignant read, thank you. Take care
x

Mikki said...

You pulled me in from the first line, and gave me chills with the last. Wonderful writing.

Thank you for sharing!

Richard Levangie said...

Sweet, sad, touching. I enjoyed this bittersweet story told simply and effectively.

Francis Tan said...

Thank you everyone for your huge encouragement! There's so much quality in this contest I could learn from.

C Sonberg Larson said...

Wow, you accomplished a lot of story in only 250 words! Impressive. Great emotion.

Aerin said...

Almost the sense of a troubadour, singing about the mother of his child...so sad

JaneyV said...

Francis - such a tragic tale. I think that you touched the hearts of your readers. How could you not?

Francis Tan said...

Hey Folks!

Thanks for your wonderful feedback! Was trying to make the story as down to earth as possible. Didn't mean to make it sound sad.

I must add that the writings in this contest are simply fantabulous.

jason evans said...

Very sweet ending. I thought it was headed to a dark place, but it was bittersweet.