Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Entry #89

The True Story of How Casey Tilson Became a Vegan
by Wendy Russ


Earl and Arthur sat on the veranda of 351 Poplar Street in the same spots they’d sat for the last 63 years. They stared across the street at Casey Tilson working a yellow-handled hoe in her garden.

“I think that’s one of the nicest hoes I’ve seen,” said Earl. “She’s one them vegans, you know.”

Arthur spit into a paper cup and grunted, “Ayep.”

“Them vegans, they got ideas,” added Earl.

“Ayep.”

“Heard tell it’s due to a childhood trauma – it was that year Maisy Treece tried to shoot Elmer’s pecker off with a BB gun.”

“She was a feisty one,” Arthur admitted.

“That summer Casey was cracking eggs on the sidewalk to see if they’d cook,” Earl continued.

“Seems like a waste of good eggs to me.”

“Turned out one of them eggs was fertilized and when she cracked it out on the sidewalk it was all golden yolk and bloody red mucus and a black chick eye and it commenced to bubble on the hot pavement as if to be flappin like it was still alive.

“And Casey went to screaming down the street bellowing like a scared calf, ‘THERE’S A CHICK IN MY EGG!’”

“What’d she think was in there,” asked Arthur.

After careful consideration Earl said, “I don’t rightly know.”

They sat and rocked a long while and watched Casey Tilson work.

Finally, Arthur broke the silence. He spit in his cup and said, “I reckon you’re right about that hoe.”

37 comments:

Guilie said...

Oh, this one made me chuckle! The humor is brilliant, the characterizations solid and alive. Love Arthur's "ayep", hehehe. Fantastic; thank you for the great read!

Sarah Hina said...

Wendy, I love your writing. And this piece is no exception. A genuine slice of life, with plenty of meat on it (no offense to Casey).

Ayep. ;)

Precie said...

Your dialogue captures these characters so well!

Stephen Parrish said...

Superb dialogue and characterization. I can picture those two old guys even though you don't devote a single word describing what they look like. Funnie too. Nice job.

Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Got a tickle from this one, lol, and I loved the back and forth, the apparent age, damn, I like it all.

Dottie :)

Cath Barton said...

That's a refreshingly different take on the prompt. I enjoyed it.

Wendy said...

Thank you, everyone. :)

Sarah, so good to see you here! You already know I'm a big, big fan of yours!

Guilie, Precie, Steve, Dottie... I can't get those guys off my porch now!

Cath, thanks much. I've been hanging out in left field all week. :)

wrath999 said...

Great tale and a vivid imagination !

Joni said...

What a fun piece with shining voice. "That's one of the nicest hoes I've seen." Ha.

Tight, entertaining story.

Clara said...

That is it, best piece I've read!
The dialogue, the narration,it flows perfectly.Great work!

Aimee Laine said...

I can so picture this. Hilarious, two old men yappin' about the lady across the street. :)

Col Bury said...

The humour tickled me too. Great voice, Wendy.

Regards,
Col

Catrina said...

Hilarious. Was I the only one who read in double entendres about Casey and her hoe?

Well done.

Ellis Bergstresser said...

I loved the voices of the old men, and the fact that this was such a different take on the prompt. It felt so down-to-earth and real.

And funny. Nice.

SzélsőFa said...

whee-hee :)
a lively anecdote!

SzélsőFa said...

uhm, a yellow hoe - i just read it aloud :)
:)
i can very well imagine that implication coming from those old men...

Erratic Thoughts said...

:D this was so giggly..I really liked it...

bluesugarpoet said...

"Them vegans, they got ideas" - favorite line! I could totally envision your characters. Nicely drawn slice of life here! ~Jana A

j a zobair said...

How did I miss this? (Vegetarian here).

As others have said this is just perfect characterization. You've shown so much in so few words. We feel like we know these two--or at least like we'd like to listen in for awhile!

Wonderful!

Old Kitty said...

Brilliant dialogue and fun play on the word "hoe" - had me laughing all the way!! Thank you!! Take care
x

Rachel said...

OK from my gut out loud guffaws here. This is splendid!!!!!

"...- it was that year Maisy Treece tried to shoot Elmer’s pecker off with a BB gun.” hee hee hee

I'm off to hardware for a yellow hoe - every gal should have one!

Awesome! Well done!

Wendy said...

Rachel, be careful of old men if you do!

Thank you again to all the people wandering in after my first thanks. I really appreciate the feedback and comments.

Catvibe said...

Wonderful characters and dialogue. I laughed right outloud. Ayep...

Bruce Roush said...

Earl and Arthur really made me laugh. They really seem to know their hoes.

Mikki said...

Oh, my God. That poor chick!

Your characterizations were dynamic, your dialogue brilliant. I felt as if I was watching a movie.

Thank you for sharing!

Richard Levangie said...

Wendy:

I thoroughly enjoyed your entry—the humor and the downhome dialogue of two old curmudgeons is first-rate. Such a fun story for this old vegetarian to read.

The line: "Maisy Treece tried to shoot Elmer’s pecker off with a BB gun" made me laugh out loud!

pegjet said...

As a New Englander, I have to say, Ayup, I liked this one.

Actually, I thought I'd read every one and was just scrolling thru and found I didn't read this one. I am sorry--I may have realigned my top 5. As the other comments have stated, great humor, characters and all around original take on the prompt. Plus, you write well.

fairyhedgehog said...

I love the way those two guys talk!

Aerin said...

So happy to see you here, Wendy!!

Michael Morse said...

Well, looks like I got me a favorite heah. Almost missed it, glad I didn't! (the poor little chicken frying on the sidewalk with the bloody wings and everything perfectly captured the prompt, hence my favorite vote)

M.G. Ainsworth said...

Hilarious! I loved it, and Catrina I also was seeing double entendres with Casey and her Hoe.

Aniket said...

I bet no one can read this without sayin "Ayep" and smile, at least once in their head.

Trust me. I'm a vegan and I've got ideas. :)

Thoroughly loved the dialogues and enjoyed every bit reading this.

rocky wing said...

i am trying to think of a comment that would be worthy of the work but could find none. i love how the tempo of the piece increases throughout until the "careful consideration." followed by the hilarious "i don't rightly know" followed by the sitting and rocking and watching. those two lines create such depth in the relationship, they show of what substance their 63 years have been spent. thank you for introducing me to earl and arthur.

JaneyV said...

Wendy this is a gentle and humourous vignette and I loved it. The voices were perfection.

pegjet said...

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention. I was happy to see your story included in the top 10.

Peter Dudley said...

As a fan of Marshall Dodge, I really enjoyed this. I can hear the downeast drawls as I read it.

jason evans said...

That was a hilarious conversation! Great pacing and timing and comedic dialogue. Timing is not easy to write. A high scorer!

Congratulations on the Honorable Mention!