Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Entry #54

Trees Don't Dream
by Michael Pelc


In the background the FM Dylan is nasalizing his way through another rhyme, stuffing all kinds of words that shouldn't ought to be there into a sentence, until somehow, at the end, he comes up with just the right ones to tell me that anyone not busy being born is busy dying. And he drags out the last word, dying, to emphasize it, like he's talking to me personally.

So I'm thinking maybe I ought to be writing this stuff down, but she's in the way again, standing at the door to the apartment, fiddling with her purse, trying to adjust the strap so it doesn't slip off her shoulder. A collection of brown paper bags from the Piggly Wiggly are gathered at her feet. She lacks for suitcases, so she's put all her belongings into the grocery bags.

"Because trees don't dream," she says, picking up the bags at her feet and the discussion from an hour ago. As if dreams were a reason for leaving. And then, just like that, she's out the door.

"They don't dream of spring," she continues, her voice muffled now, "and neither do they dream of growing up to be a boat some day. And they certainly don't whisper Gregorian Chants in the moonlight."

I am impressed that she remembers so many of the words to my poem. But mostly I am thankful for the tree that grew up to be the door I helped her close forever.

20 comments:

Remiman said...

Michael,
Some people just don't understand.
Maybe as she matures she'll find the magic in the tree. Until then; You've described the end of the beginning very well!
rel

Sarah Hina said...

Very original interpretation here. I love that the tree is the door that contains his desperately sought isolation.

Very natural, effective writing here. Great work.

Marcia (MeeAugraphie) said...

She remembered the words, shame she didn't understand them. The tree that grew up to be a door was a cool ending.

Precie said...

Very nicely done!

Bernita said...

You gave her terrific lines.
Nice voice.Wonderful close.

sandra seamans said...

I loved that last line - it was such a perfect ending. Nicely done all round, Michael.

JLB said...

I really like this composition - it has a cadence like poetry, and the voice is honest.

Anonymous said...

A good read and a perfect last line.

John McAuley

Aerin said...

It took me three readings to really get this piece, but not for bad reasons - it's that it's so full, of great imagery, tight characterization, perfect little details. So, so well done!

Lena said...

last line is truly a gem. And the whole story is really a nice interpretation and is wonderfully done :)

SzélsőFa said...

An interesting take with true characters.

JaneyV said...

LOVED that last line!

wrath999 said...

Cool and very original

paisley said...

i liked the aspect of functionality that you introduced... very fresh...

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

A nicely ironic piece of writing and the ending is brilliant! Well done!

Linda Courtland said...

What a great last line!

bluesugarpoet said...

That last line screams "Country Song." Love it! I'm with absolute vanilla (& atyllah) - nicely ironic.

jason evans said...

Very inventive! I was lulled into the moment perfectly. I loved the uniqueness and the quirkiness. Great! Highest marks.

Congratulations on 2nd Place!!

Michael said...

Thanks to everyone for the positive comments, and to Jason et. al. for thinking my story worthy of second place out of a universe of highly creative stories.

Aine said...

"As if dreams were a reason for leaving."

Great line. You touch on some very complex situations and emotions. Clearly (within these 250 words) these two are quite a mismatch. But I wonder about what brought them together.

Excellent characterization and storytelling! Congrats!