Friday, April 18, 2008

Under the Willows, Part 6 (narrative poem)

(A young man yearns to have the power to reach beyond mortal ends. A sensual vampire tale in the tradition of THE HIGHWAYMAN by Alfred Noyes. Just joining us? Go back to Part 1.)



He whispered promises sweet to spiders
Fluttering down from their shrouded feasts
In other bedrooms they wove the faces
With blankets of webby peace

A pair of delicate drops of moisture
Perched on her strangely familiar skin
He coaxed them trailing with loving fingers
His welcoming tears for Bryn*

She jumped and sat with her heartbeat pounding
Seconds like earthquakes consumed the room
She tried to call to her shrouded father
Bewitched in his silken tomb

Her window shattered in howling windstorms
Ripping her gown through the broken pane
She splayed on willowy branches bending
A league down the rutted lane

**To be continued**


On to Part 7.
Go back to Part 5.

(*Bryn in modern times has appeared in the Passions of Bryn series.)

P.S. Just for fun, here is the raw image before Photoshop. I capture all sorts of spur-of-the-moment images from a moving car, but many of them have faults. Photoshop lets me make creative use of them anyway. Plus, I always wanted to paint, and this seems like the next best thing!

17 comments:

Terri said...

I love your Bryn writings. These last 2 parts (which I have just read together) seem to flow together like a stormy sea gathering momentum. I think I would like to keep this poem - all it's parts together - somewhere to read and re-read every now and then.
You need to be published, my friend.

Bernita said...

Particularly like this Poe portion, Jason.

Sarah Hina said...

The spiders are a delicious touch, as silently strategic as he is. And that last stanza is as explosive as the second is teasingly gentle.

But enough about the words. Tell us about that photo! ;) It's awesome.

Unknown said...

"seconds like earthquakes" -Whew!

PS - You made my morning when I wandered over here and found another installment! :o)

Sarah Hina said...

Wow, I thought for sure you had layered two different photos, or something. I love the crazy, shadowy contrasts--they really fit the story.

Thanks for adding the p.s.! I'm so clueless about photography/Photoshop, and I was curious. :)

JaneyV said...

Hypnotic, beautiful and a hint of terror. Wonderful!

I loved Bryn too!

Anonymous said...

**Sorry I've been scarce lately everyone. I've had a flu relapse along with my daughter. Niiiice.**

Terri, great to see you! You were so fun when I was doing the original Bryn series. I hope to get back to it. And thank you for the wonderful compliment. I realize I'm taking an unusual path to traditional publication, but I tell myself that in the end, it will be a smart move for me.

Bernita, it was fun to mix a little strange horror into this part.

Sarah, "explosive" is a good way to put it. I needed a firm transition to the high, um, energy of the final stanzas. As for the photo, I messed with it for quite a while. I do like the misty, eerie effect.

Beth, I've said it before, but it's such an amazing energy for me when folks seem to really love a series. Thanks!

Sarah, the best thing to do once you have a program is just to play. There's always the undo button. ;)

Janey, thanks for exploring!

WH said...

"Ripping her gown ... branches bending" Those lines contained the most vivid image for me, one that made me say "Don't stop here!" -:)

Miladysa said...

Wonderful imagery and poetry.

I am truly enjoying this and as ever, looking forward to the next part.

LOVE the top image - felt sure it was taken in the UK :-D

Geraldine said...

Loved reading this installment Jason, very dark and descriptive. Your photo/paint experiment came out very well.

I hope you also get the opportunity to actually paint (the old-fashioned way LOL). I do whenever I can and love it so much. A very relaxing, creative pursuit. My mom was an accomplished painter. I can see some of her technique and brushstrokes in my own work. It's amazing really.

Hope you are feeling much, much better! G

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

Jude said...

Hey Jason, you're so much better at keeping the old blog going... I'm here to say you have been tagged... details on my blog!

Jay said...

Nicely adapted photo and great writing, as always.

Unknown said...

That's what this blog is: a shrouded feast.

SzélsőFa said...

Very vivid, almost frightening.
I'm not into vampire stories at all, but I like the flow and the rhythm of the stanzas.

Ello - Ellen Oh said...

Ok this section is definitely my favorite right now!!! Awesome!

And the pictures are so cool! the original picture is scary too but you added some great ambience with the photoshopping!

Anonymous said...

Billy, thanks. There will certainly be more with that ripped dress.

Miladysa, this area of the United States was heavily influenced by England, so I'm not surprised.

Geraldine, I painted some when I was younger, but was only self-taught. I couldn't claim much success.

Jude, I'll check it out!

Jay, thank you! Good to see you.

EOH, I like that!

Szelsofa, thanks for the feedback about its feel. I really enjoy Gothic tales once in a while.

Ello, we're getting into the serious stuff now. ;)

Vesper said...

Seconds like earthquakes consumed the room

Waiting for more... And the photo complements perfectly the poem!