Running Wind…Whispering Shadows
by Kim Watters
Riding along with the running wind all around me, and the shadows of dusk silently whispering their thoughts…leave no witnesses, there’s a side road coming up on your left…take it, take it…yessss!
I rode into town on my bike a month ago, thinking that a fresh start would be good. A new job, a new home, a different change of pace…after all, it was just myself.
I noticed this annoying little man following me around. I’d go shopping and he’d be there, I’d go to the Laundromat and there he was behind me. The last straw was when I went to the diner for lunch and he came and sat down at my table without asking…and just stared at me. Well I just stared back at him for one full minute, and started to eat. Oh he didn’t like that, so he leans in close and whispers, “I know what you did”. He looked furtively around and whispered that he had “seen” me do it and that he had followed me from where I had buried the body and that he’d go to the cops if I didn’t do exactly as he said…wrong thing to say. He told me to meet him tonight behind the motel for payment instructions, and maybe…
Riding along with the running wind all around me, and the shadows of dusk silently whispering their thoughts…leave no witnesses, there’s a side road coming up on your left…take it, take it…yessss!
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Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
The Official Compilation!
Get the winners of the first 12 Clarity of Night contests in one place! Extras too!!
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- poetry (193)
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- lyrics (56)
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- remembrance (16)
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- beer philosophers (13)
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- experimental (8)
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- photography (5)
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~clausum~
20 comments:
Cool and very well done.
'that he’d go to the cops if I didn’t do exactly as he said…wrong thing to say.' great line here, gives us a taste on where this is going.
alex
Says just enough in such a short time. Good work.
I have a feeling the little man won't be annoying any longer. Very chilling.
Nice bookending with the first and final paragraphs, too. They were wild and a little bit frantic--very fitting for the character's state of mind.
Good job!
Yes, I was going to say what Sarah said, I like how you wrapped the story with the opening and ending paragraphs. Nice job.
Yes, very nice.
I agree with JC, just enough to make it a great tale and leave you wondering.
ummm...devious characters both.
I, too, liked the way you started and ended with the same paragraph - very effective.
wanted to leave my name for last comment ---KLG
"Leave no witnesses" - am sure that's just what he/she did! :)
Very well narrated!
Not a good idea to poke the hornet's nest. :)
a good narration and i loved the repitition of the first para in the end.. :)
A really cool piece of writing!
Good narration. Nice wrap-up too!
Like my sister, I would also like to thank all those who comment on my story. I do read the others and think to myself, compared to them, I'm an amateur.
Kim - I really like the way you handled this. the structure was perfectly weighted and the narrative had just the right amount of menace in it.
Very clever and readable piece.
Great writing. Very clever indeed.
At first I thought the man was his conscious but soon realized differently.
Like others who commented, repeating that first graph worked so nicely.
Great writing. Very clever indeed.
There is a certain poetry to the way this is structured. Agree with the others: clever.
i love the repeated beginning and ending! fantabulous read!
that's usually the trouble with 'littles', never content to be....
Nice tie together. Something tells me this side road is not a happy place for that guy. Good pacing.
Cool! A female serial killer! Little annoying man got what he deserved.
Thanks for sharing this.
:)
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