Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Entry #58

Not a Jap Bike
by Mr. Schprock


His T-shirt said in big letters: "I'D RATHER EAT SHIT THAN RIDE A JAP BIKE." Not too subtle. I thought those undercover guys were supposed to be inconspicuous, blend in, you know? So anyway, he comes into my office with a fucking tire iron, no preliminaries, and nearly caves in my skull, just like that. I'm old, but the reflexes are still good. I dive and then I'm up again. Dope leaves the door to my office open, so out I go, Mister Shit Eater hot on my trail.

"Lester says 'hi,' you spic cocksucker!" he yells, spit flying everywhere.

I don't bother tell him I ain't a spic. I run to my car but see the tires have been slashed. Figures. It's near midnight, no help anywhere. Score one for him.

"You're a cop!" I yell back as I run around the car. "Serve and protect, asshole!"

He doesn't dare use his gun, too traceable. But that slows him down, because he didn't know I knew he was a cop. I watch his dumb face form a big question mark. Just enough time to reach in my glove box.

"Tire iron. Gun. Gun beats tire iron," I shout, and let him have it, four rounds. Moron still has the big question mark on his face. He does a drunken ballet step and hits the pavement. Hard.

Stupid cop. Nice bike. Little sloppy going from second to third though.

14 comments:

Sarah Hina said...

Very jarring to read, but also authentically portrayed.

This is a dark, ugly world, but one worth exploring. And the last paragraph was appropriately brutal.

Strong writing, and well paced.

BernardL said...

Well written rough dealings.

Beth said...

This was the Boston bad boy I was waiting to read inside you. And of all the contests, this is my favorite thus far. Fantastic last line!

Why don't you people quit making voting so hard? Ugh, you making it in right before the deadline people! lol

JR's Thumbprints said...

I can visualize the bullets hitting the body when you write "drunken ballet step."

September said...

rough indeed. not sure what to say.

JaneyV said...

Harsh and callous - we almost feel sorry for this old guy being pursued by the crooked cop right until he lets him have it.

Very gutsy!

Scott said...

Awesome way to wrap it up.

Dottie said...

Such a strong voice which you have to have to pull off this story. I love this one!

Posolxstvo I said...

High marks for pacing and authenticity. Would love to know who Lester is in relation to the main character.

Scott said...

Dude, I just realized that this is Mr. Schprock's story. How could I have not seen that before! What I didn't say before is that I thought this had a real, gritty, private dick way about it, like Mike Hammer without all the big breasted women of course. I shoulda known. This has Mr. Schprock signature humor to it, buddy.

laughingwolf said...

nasty but very effective....

*~*{Sameera}*~* said...

Wild,very very wild.

Nice piece of writing!

SzélsőFa said...

I'm so glad you entered, Mr. Schprock.
What a strange and ironic main character!
I like the way the story unfolds.
One of the best last lines!!

jason evans said...

Great action moment! A life in the day of organized crime, I guess. Very good writing. High marks overall.