A Promise Kept
By RiverSoul
I rushed to the ICU ward of the Hospital as fast as my legs could carry me. It was almost daybreak. Twenty minutes ago, I had received the doctor’s call, confirming that the time had now come. That which I had been dreading; that which I had hoped would never happen; had now come to pass.
Like the dog afraid of his own shadow, I ran towards her.
The ward came to view. Like a pale ghost, I slowed down to a standstill. The door was ajar. She was looking right at me.
She seemed to be looking right through me, as though she knew of every thought and emotion tormenting my mind. She had that smile on her face; that carefree smile that even months of chemotherapy had failed to wipe out. Her smile seemed to be telling me something.
But I just couldn’t place it.
The doctor came out just then. With an apologetic voice, he said “I’m so sorry, son. She succumbed just a few minutes ago. A brave fighter. God rest her soul.”
He walked away.
Terror tore at me and my insides seemed to shrivel up.
“That means . . . . . her eyes . . . . . Oh God!”
She knew I’d come. She kept waiting for me till the very end. Tears leaked out of my eyes. But I held strong. I kept her promise. I never cried.
And I realized that she knew it.
Her smile told me that.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
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34 comments:
sweet touching story, Sid.
Carry on with good work :)
Thanks Lena
:)
:)
I'm teary. Lovely job.
that sounded very personal. Made me well up a bit. So much emotion in 250 words. Great writing.
Very touching.Good one :)
Thank you, for reading Ello
:)
Glad you liked it.
:)
Thank you so much, preacherman, for reading my story.
:)
Glad you liked it.
:)
Thank you, sameera..
:)
Glad you liked it
:)
Its really a touching story..
Very emotional. Great descriptions too. I wouldn't want to be in this situation, though.
Nice work.
Paul (entry #26)
Thank you Kunal
:)
Glad you liked it
:)
Thank you, for reading paul.
:)
Glad you liked it.
Yes. No one would like to be in such a situation.
But tragically, it does happen
:(
Beautiful., yet very sad. Great job. :)
Nothing feels more tragic or poignant than the near miss. And yet you ended on her smile. I really liked that.
I especially appreciated the pacing and descriptions as he rushed toward the ward. Great job, RiverSoul! :)
Ohhhh....this one got to me.
At first I thought he made it -
good story. And I didn't realize she was "gone" until the very ending.
Nice job.
At Tina,
Thank you so much for reading and liking it.
:)
Thank you, Sarah
:)
Glad you liked the way i've spun my story.
:)
I'm glad you took the time to read it.
Thank you,
:)
Thank you, September
:)
I'm glad you like my story.
:)
Thank you for reading
:)
I thought for a moment that this might have a happy ending - but that wouldn't feel "real". A bleak theme, but there was some light shining through regardless. I actually enjoyed this.
Thank you for reading my story, Jimmie.
:)
The fact that you liked it, has made it worth writing.
The theme was actually about the ascension of a suffering soul from this world to the painless next one.
I hope this info helps the readers to relate my story to liberation of a suffering soul.
Thank you, jimmie
Riversoul, this was beautiful and a tormented ending. Great writing.
Thank you, catvibe
:)
Glad you like it.
:)
Sid, i knew u wudn disappoint any of the readers! as expected, this turned out to be a beautiful story! luvd it to the core. good work!
Thank you Anil,
:)
Glad you feel that way,
And thanks for reading my story..
:)
I lost a junior in my hostel... He was only 20 when he passed away in a road accident... We couldn't reach to see him in time at the hospital! Life can be cruel... and you showed that in a very effective way! Great work!
Thank you, Aniket, for reading
I'm sad to hear of your junior. But yes, such things do happen.
I only pray that it never happens to anyone else, but i guess some prayers are never answered.
Thank you, Aniket
:)
OMG!! I almost cried , n broke the promise :) Nicely written
Sad but nice...
Reading this really got to me as I went through the very same experience very recently.
Written with a lot of heart & feelings. Very touching...
you've beautifully captured in writing a death that ends with both peace and dignity. touching story!
jana
Thank you, Amrita, for reading my story
I'm glad you liked it. . .
:)
At Margaret,
I'm sorry for your loss, but its the sad truth of the real world.
I thank you for reviewing my story.
Much obliged.
:)
Thank you, jana, for your wonderful review. You really have grasped the true essence of my story.
Thank you.
:)
Thanks for being a wonderful part of the contest!
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