Truth in Wine
by Bebo
The engines of the AT-6 Harvard’s flying in training maneuvers droned overhead, a reminder of the war raging half a world away. Allie ignored the sound as she leaned back against the patchwork quilt covering the hay bales. The barn was a comfortable spot for a picnic in the late autumn rain.
“I’m going to kiss you,” Brit stated softly, taking her off guard.
“You think so?” Allie challenged him as she sipped the wine he had brought so carefully on the train from the city. She thought it was too dry, but she didn’t have much to go on. She had only tasted her Granny’s sweet blackberry wine before. This was different. Real wine, with a fancy label she couldn’t read, from some place she’d never heard of. It made her head buzz pleasantly.
Brit grasped her hand and drew the glass away from her lips.
Her nerve faltered as he leaned towards her, his lips mocking her with a half smile.
“Oh, yes.”
He closed the distance between them and placed his lips briefly on hers. She jerked back, her teasing mood suddenly banished by awareness. For the space of a few seconds she simply stared at him.
“Do that again,” she demanded, and launched herself at him.
The crystal glass slipped from her fingers and hit the dirt floor of the barn with barely a sound. The dark red wine soaked the ground like blood.
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Listening for the words in a quiet corner of the night. The fiction, poetry, and photography of Jason Evans.
About Me
- Aine
- Collaborator and night owl.
Past Contests
- "Elemental" Short Fiction Contest
- "Uncovered" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silhouette" Short Fiction Contest
- "In Vino Veritas" Short Fiction Contest
- "Ascension" Short Fiction Contest
- "Running Wind" Short Fiction Contest
- "Whispers" Short Fiction Contest
- "Restless Dawn" Short Fiction Contest
- "Halo" Short Fiction Contest
- "Endless Hour" Short Fiction Contest
- "Silent Grey" Short Fiction Contest
- "Lonely Moon" Short Fiction Contest (with Anne Frasier)
- "Midnight Road" Short Fiction Contest
- "Two Lights" Short Fiction Contest
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27 comments:
Charming seduction scene. Nice mood switch in the opening. I was quite relieved that there was no drunk fighter pilot anywhere in the story!
THANK YOU for a happy ending. No one dying, no one poisoning someone else...I liked the mood set by this piece, it was lovely.
A tale of sweet seduction. Loved it!
I liked your opening; the time and place really added that extra umphhh to your story. And I'm glad, so very very glad, that you didn't have the barn physically bombed! Very subtle. Excellent job.
This was sweet, I enjoyed the set up, the barn scene, the picnic, and the seduction. I got the sense that it was a first for her in many ways. :-)
Thanks everyone, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
well and sweetly done, bebo :)
Oooohhh!!! This one seems like the second scene to my story. :)
Needless to say, I totally loved it. And like everyone els, I too am glad that nobody dies in this one. :)
Now I think I see why I never was a great seducer as a young man...Boonsfarm had an all to readable label!
{;-p}
I liked this Bebo...for many of the reasons already listed above.
Takes me back to my youth working on a farm.
Left me with a nice feeling. This story and my youth...;-)
Lovely writing.
Four Dinners
Beautiful! What a sweet moment!
Love your opening paragraph. The dialogue really brings you to the present. Excellent juxtaposition.
Sweet story.
Wine, bringing new experiences :D Seduction at it's best !!
Nice
I want more.
Sweet banter, her inexperience with wine a hint of her overall innocence.
Very nicely written.
Good story.
Puts me in a romantic mood! Loved it!!
Lovely coming-of-age moment in a girl's life. The detail of her granny's sweet blackberry wine against the fancy, impressive label... perfect level of description for the scene. (My only quibble is that someone unfamiliar with wine might not use the phrase "too dry" to describe the puckeriness of "real wine.")
Charming and engaging, very black and white movie-ish, classic and innocent.
Takes me back to those heady naive and adventurous times and the various "first" experiences and epiphanies. Thanks for this one.
Thanks everyone for your wonderful comments, feedback and suggestions. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story!
:-D
sweet and innocent...loved it.
good work - and you can't help but find the girl charming
Ah, now this appeals to the romantic in me. Great stuff.
I echo what was said before. I love the innocent romance of this. Having the warplanes droning overhead was a nice touch - almost a foreshadowing of excitement and lost innocence. Lovely writing.
It is so hard to make a romantic encounter sound fresh and interesting. You've done a great job with this story.
After a second reading I discovered verbs or verb phrases that could be used for two airplaines flying or in battle:
1. taking (her) off (guard)
2. (Allie) challenged (him)
3. made (her head) buzz
4. He closed the distance
5. launched (herself)
6. hit the dirt floor
In my book you're a top flyer, a top fiver.
Now that's the kind of reaction we want! Score one for passion and seizing the moment.
Welcome to The Forties Club!
Very nicely done. I enjoyed this one a lot. Your writing is almost cinematic it's so easy to picture the scene even with so few words. Good job!
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