A Worm in Crow's Clothing
by Scott King
If Janet Bloodwyrm had nails she would've just broken them. Luckily, worms don't have nails. Of course worms also don't fly, which is why Janet was punching the control panel.
“Fish food, you're mine!” A deep voice snarled.
Hissing, the hatch above Janet opened. She slithered onto the roof, assessing the damage. Talon marks stretched the side of the vehicle. Using a fake flying bird might not have been the smartest plan, she thought.
“Can we get this over with?” She looked skyward, trying to find her attacker. “The rats are having a den-sale and I heard they just scavenged a Vera Bradly store.”
The crow dive bombed her and she was swallowed whole.
She didn't resit. Instead, she let the esophagus muscles of the crow deposit her in its crop, a bubble-like organ used for food storage. Centimeters from her landing place, she saw a bleeding one-eyed frog.
“You came,” the frog whispered.
“I told you,” Janet flung her tail toward the frog and clasped a pair of cuffs on his wrists. “I always get my mark.”
“And how do you expect to get out of here to collect the bounty?”
******
“What is that perfume?” The rat said while handing Janet her shopping bags. “I don't recognize it.”
“Crow Vomit,” Janet grinned. She knew she should've used the cash to pay her rent, but what girl can resit a shopping spree?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
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28 comments:
This is GREAT! It reminds me of Artemis Fowl in tone and zaniness. Fun to read and just right on details.
Love it. Would buy it in book form.
I love the unique PoV! And the ending is interesting. Great job!
~giggling~
Chick lit with a vengeance and really well done!
"Crow vomit."...perfect!
I wish it was longer. I want to know who the frog is and why she was hunting him. I want to know how she buit the ship. I want more!
A wacky, contemporary fable... don't mess with a shopaholic.
lol ...y're a riot, scott :)
This is so very cool! Love it to the core.
Agree with Laurel (for the first and final time, grr) on the Artemis Fowl feel. Would do anything to get her mark, indeed. Goes to my box of favourites. ;)
Thanks guys! I'm not a very "literary" person so I simply tried to have some fun. I'm glad people are enjoying it.
That one left me chuckling, great piece.
Oh this was whimsically fun to read. Delightful. I'd love to see the vehicle they were in. What do wyrms drive anyway?
That was indeed fun to read. Enjoyed it to the core!
A fun read.
Ha!
Ha ha! Love it.
I tried to think of some helpful critisism but I got nothing. My only complaint is I want more story, dialog & description... but there isn't anything u can cut so that you can add more without hitting the word count. So as is the story really does a nice job of working within the bounderies of the contest.
Excellent work!! Loved it for its sheer cheekiness!!
Weirdly awesome!! Thank you for this piece :)
Loved the cast of characters. Very twisted, very weird, very GOOD!
Scott - this is priceless! I too espouse to the have-fun-with-it theory and what a lot of fun this is. Most excellent!
Is it just me, did you mean "resist" instead of "resit"?
Reminds me of my days working in the meatrooom of a grocery store. I used to scrape the rotten meat off the floor. The owners sold it to company that used it to produce make-up and other cosmetics.
Ha, funny. Though I'd love to know exactly how she got the crow to vomit them up. You've got me hooked. Great character.
heh heh heh ...i loved this for its sheer uniqueness. the idea is marvelous. the narration is even better.
Too funny! :)
my caveat
Something I Would Keep
The playfulness is obvious not only in the theme and plot, but also the word choices - punchng, hissing, slithered -
Something I Might Tweak
How sexist to suggest women only like to shop! (I'm KIDDING, Scott, really. I'm guilty as charged - get it, charged? As in, credit card!? Oh, nevermind). IF you wanted to tweak it, you might want to figure out a transition other than just a space/line, but that's a personal preference.
AHAHAHAHAHAH! This is so fresh! So funny! Really very creative!
Funky was the first word to pop to mind. I like it!
Ah, the Stephanie Plum of the animal kingdom - I like it!
Great POV, laughed at the end!
Congrats on the H/M!
Dottie :)
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